M ko kyon gussa aata hai?

(Why does M get angry?)

M is normally a very amiable person who always goes out of his way to make people comfortable. Such are the idiosyncrasies of our Maker, that He has decided to try M’s patience by doing the following things:

a. Thou shall get out of your comfort zone of Zurich and go to Chennai, India at least once a month – sometimes thrice!
b. Thine flights will always be changed in the last minute
c. Thine luggage will always arrive at Chennai few hours before you leave that great city
d. Thou shall travel by Air France as much as possible
e. To compensate, thou shall be blessed with Taj Coromandel stay in Chennai

If M is still going to go to Chennai next week, it is purely due to the fact that Jet Airways has good “Shah Rukh Khan” movies to complement the Dom Perignon!!
Truly inquisitive to know how India ended up like this, he decided to refer to history and has taken to reading the history of the region and often comes up with such questions as: “What happened to Sarat Chandra Bose, the brother of Subhash Chandra Bose?” Now, we are not even sure what happened to Subhash, let alone his brother Sarat… Digressing, as usual…

This post is to show-case M’s sudden philosophical approach towards life in general and towards Air France in particular, after a particularly memorable experience in February this year.

Sit back and enjoy…

Air France - Global Disaster in Progress: Episode IV - Paris

Against general practice, Air France seems to indulge in loading the economy section of its planes through one aisle only, which allows the staff to prolong the enjoyable close customer contact during boarding for an extended period. Business Class passengers (éspace d'affaires) can board the plane whenever they want to, meaning that they can join the economy passengers in their quest to get through the single boarding door into the single boarding aisle. Of course, this provides ample time to reflect why Air France calls its economy class "TEMPO".

The èspace d'affaires seat complies to the standard un-comfortableness of a Lufthansa seat for short passengers. You can't stretch your legs but at least you can't exert any lateral pressure on your knees because your calves and feet are nicely boxed in. Since the toilet lights are controlled by a random status generator, you have endless opportunities to wonder if "red" means someone is using the toilet or not. The same, of course, applies to "green".

Today the standard Air France delay is forty-five minutes for all planes; which means that I would have caught my connecting flight to Zurich since it adhered to the standard delay.

Unfortunately the Air France check-in lady in Chennai divined from her crystal ball, that I would not catch the regular Zurich flight and booked me on the later one.

The Frenchman at the CDG transit desk refused to rebook me on the earlier flight telling me that my luggage would not make it. I told him I didn't care and that Air France could deliver the luggage to my home. He refused that, too. I managed to enter the fast-track lane through security and successfully reached the gate for the earlier flight. There I was refused entry for security reasons because my luggage was on the other plane. I told the lady that thanks to Air France losing my luggage, I had been a security risk on the whole first leg of my trip. This didn't impress her.

What remains is a report on the lounge: the croissants are alright, but the "point informatique" is the only corner of the lounge where there is no WLAN reception.

Now the sun is shining down on the vehicles of the "bagages equipages", and I am getting mentally ready to fill out the next "missing luggage" form in Zurich.

Air France - Global Disaster in Progress: Episode V - A.W.O.L.

Let us continue our discussion with airline information systems: in Chennai, my Air France flight was labeled as "à l'heure / on-time" until the bitter end, first at 2:35 AM, then at 3:00 AM. Take-off was at 3:40 AM. "On-time / à l'heure" thus seems to be an Air France synonym for "sometime".

Here at CDG, my flight to Zurich is displayed everywhere as 1305 a l'heure. At 1230, at the gate I wanted to board but was told that the plane had two hours delay. There is no snow outside, only sunshine, so it can't be the weather. Back at the lounge, a friendly lady told me that they couldn't find a crew for the plane. Down at the gate they had told me "delayed incoming plane" - apparently the air traffic control had only realized the plane was missing as boarding was supposed to start

Thus I am again sitting in the lounge, contemplating what the Air France crew that is absent without leave might be doing on a sunny afternoon in Paris.

And the screen still says "1305 AF5104 Zurich à l'heure"


Heard that M will be conferred with the Legion d’honor (or whatever the French try to bribe people with!) in the this year’s Bastille day….provided he flies Air France to Paris!!! M politely refused the honour citing project commitment – after all 14th July is just one day after our go-live!!!

41 x 49: HNY!!

(c) Cartoonstock.com

In the season of lists and wishes, here is one more....
In 2009, we hope to have the following:

10 months of stock market increases (just stay flat during the remaining two, will you?)
9 more test centuries by Sachin Tendulkar to make it a round 50 (it is cricket, dear Watson!)
8 good habits to lead a healthy and peaceful life (one habit is enough: For Men - Listen to your wife! For Women - Tell him what to do!)
7 lucky numbers to win the Chinese New Year Toto (drool, drool...)
6 healthy ways to show the doctor the door (simple: Cut the intake!)
5 tough filters to reduce spams to zero (they should not filter this message, he he!)
4 pit-side tickets to the Singapore F1 (lightening of purse not required!)
3 gripping hours of Harry Potter magic (half blood or full blood - oh! what a tongue twister :-)
2 viable alternatives to coal and oil (is the sun not enough? Wear the research hats please!)
1 strong president to run the world's largest debtor (chaaannggeee!)
0 bank crashes! (Hail Bail!)

Have a happy, healthy and peaceful 2009 !!
SriBees

PS: Did you know that 2009 is the Year of Astronomy and also the Year of Natural Fibers?

The HNY message in Tamil is here.

Stock Split :-()

Decided to move the Tamil entries to a new blog.

Here on, the vernacular will be published at:

http://tamilsribees.blogspot.com/ entitled தேனீக்களின் ரா ரா...

Fret not; respective links will be available in the side bar :-)

Have fun.

7th Anniversary: Emotional Travails of a WTC Disaster Witness/Victim

Seven years ago... the world changed for ever.
Was very close to the epicentre of the change and one feels the impact even today.
Here is something that I wrote after about a week of 'The' 9/11.

*****

I was sad that so many years of toil and efforts have gone waste into a 100 feet rubble.
I was sad that so many lives were lost in (and due to) those four swift dastardly darts.
I was sad that there will be so many people including yours-truly, saying "I thought so!" about the security or lack of, in the US airports.
I was sad that New York's sky line has been punctured.
I was sad to see and hear that hate-crime has caught up in America as well.
I was sad that Osama Bin Laden has gotten away for the umpteenth time by inflicting serious wounds on the world.
I was sad to see the Palestinian kids and adults alike, jumping with joy on hearing the news.
I was sad to see Nostradamus 'predictions' flooding my email box about the disaster.
I was sad to note that US had to pay the price for fostering terrorism in the middle-east just because it could not change its policy.
I was sad that my passport, ticket and baggage got lost in the hotel that was 50 yards away from the WTC.

I was happy to see the never-say-die-spirit of the New Yorkers.
I was happy to see the endless queues of people donating blood.
I was happy to see Mayor Guiliani facing the tragedy like a true-braveheart, inspite of his ailment.
I was happy to see the world rallying behind the US in combatting terrorism.
I was happy to see a possibility of a reduction, if not the complete eradication, of the cross-border terrorism in Kashmir.
I was happy to see the Indian Consul General in New York being compassionate & efficient enough to issue new passports in a jiffy.
I was happy to be with friends during this period, so that we could lean on each other.
I was happy to have met those nice people in Bridgewater without whom I would have gone around like a chicken without head.
I was happy to have boarded my Singapore Airlines flight after some ten hours of travel, wait and security checks.

I laughed when Iran said that the act could only have been carried out by a "Zionist organization".
I laughed when the police officer in 19th precinct of NY, profiled us as "American Indian"
I laughed when the taxi driver from Penn Station thought that we were "Pakistanis".
I laughed when EMC said that 25 companies' data is intact inspite of the crash, because they chose EMC!
I laughed when Jayant, our hosts' six year old kid, wanted to play "Rock, Scissors, Paper, Show" I laughed when Aishu wanted me to get her Barney dolls from the US
I laughed when Patta asked me to swim across the Atlantic or Pacific to reach home. Forgive her, she is geographically challenged!
I laughed at the stupidity of a fellow passenger when the security personnel at JFK found a mini-box-cutter in his hand baggage. Duh!
I laughed when Mahesh, our dear host in Bridgewater, described the female-preying-mantle as a "Straight Bitch!"

I am nostalgic about the Windows on the World.
I am nostalgic about the Penny Rolls in the Observation Tower.
I am nostalgic about the giddy elevator ride to the top.
I am nostalgic when I see those great photographs that happened during that visit five years ago.

I felt lucky, that we did not have the meetings on Tower 1, 55th floor on that fateful day.
I felt lucky, that we decided to start the meetings at 8:30 am at Harborside rather than at 9:00 am.
I felt lucky, that I had my credit cards with which I could try the cash therapy out. (Bless that lady's soul, who turned in my wallet to the lost+found section in Fremont Mall, on 8th Sep!)
I felt lucky, that I had my mobile phone to contact people.
I felt lucky, that I was alive at that moment.

Yes, I watched the two towers collapse, from across the river. Was I feeling terrified at that time? No, I only felt lucky.

But I did feel terrified: On Sep 13 2001, Thursday. When the first reports of the hate-crime started pouring in. What do I do in front of a mob? This is America. The land of guns! Will I make it safe, if confronted by a few mis-directed gun-wielding American youth? No way! That was and still is, the more terrifying part. That is Osama's victory. West versus anybody who is deemed to be non-west!

I still get up at odd hours in the morning. I am not able to sleep for more than four hours at a stretch. I am NOT being haunted by any nightmares. But I still see those hi-tech circles that showed people jumping off the towers after the impact. And I did not "new pinch" G for wearing a new pair of trousers. They say that I am traumatised. I don't know.

*****

Forget the movies, guys!

Go get a DVD of the Beijing Olympics Opening Ceremony.

This is THE opening ceremony that you can be proud of, just for watching it!

London! You have the un-enviable task of just matching what happened today, leave alone bettering it!

The culture, colour, concept... it was simply breath-taking.

I do not want to use any more superlatives on this most positive event that I have witnessed. (Oops, could not help it!)

The OC showed what China, or rather FOCUS, can do. It showed a China which is so eager to show the world what it is capable of; how stereo-typed the world's view has been on China...

Now don't even start on all the things about human rights, righteousness etc. There is only one pope in this world and everybody else only preaches! Bush wants Indians to go hungry, Clinton says that India & China are cleaning up the natural resources and polluting like nobody's business, the whole of Europe is condescending towards Asia - and then Rajnikanth eats his words in public just for a few rupees of profit from a lousy movie... aargh!

Bertie: Jeeves, what is the word that has a hippo in it, that means that one does not practice what one preaches?
Jeeves: Hypocritical, Sir?
Bertie: Ho, hum! Jeeves.

Just go out and enjoy the spectacle that China has arranged for you.

Tail-piece: Li Ning's trapeze act to light the Olympic flame was as imaginative as all the other parts of the OC. But still he is only the third best in my list of best flame lighting...

#2 2006 Doha Asiad flame lighted by that great horseman, who climbed so many steep steps mounted on his thoroughbred - the commentator almost had a heart-attack describing that thrilling moment (Arabic is actually a very pleasing language!)

And, the #1 is...

1992 Barcelona Olympics flame lighting, when that intrepid archer lighted the flame with the help of a lighted-arrow accurately shot from his ancient bow! And we as viewers almost had a heart-attack, watching that! (Spanish is probably the most emotive language after Italian and Telugu!)

Phew!!!

Have not seen...

...Kuselan and hence no reviews yet.

Thanks for all those who were looking forward to the review.
Comments ranged from "I am disappointed with your blog; where is the review?" to "We have decided to wait for your review before watching the movie"... Touched folks...

டேய்! அடங்குடா! ரொம்ப ஃபிலிமாக இருக்கு!

Having said all these, hope to watch it this weekend...
Until then...

Legs or not...

Read this post a few minutes back...

Naresh in Google

Definitely impressive. Chicken soup to the soul in the morning :-)

'When one door closes, God opens another door somewhere else!'

Cynics will always say that he would not have reached this far, if he did not have the problems that he faced.

But then what are cynics for - to make you think 'zara hatke', perhaps?

Would the following have happened, if he was normal?

(a) JC waiving his fees off
(b) Hospital taking care of his college fees
(c) Sundar paying his hostel fees
(d) Institute providing lifts, ramps, powered-wheel-chairs etc.

In his own words, he would have ended up as a farmer in Godavari district! The moral is: It takes some calamity for people to recognize the human inside them. Why wait for that calamity? What is important is the ability to help out under normal circumstances.

No use just to write cheques, only when there is an earthquake or a typhoon or what not. That is what we call as 'band-aid patch' in software parlance. The root cause has not been addressed (another software jargon). It is easy to give money and apply Tiger Balm to the tattered soul.

Ask yourself: Do you have the 'help-under-normal-circumstances' gene activated in your DNA?

Egg on the Face or வார்த்தை தவறி விட்டாய்...(well almost!)

Now the story of UN did not end with the previous post.

Picking up from the PS of the last one...

G did button-hole the great man. After the initial pleasantry exchanges,

UN: (in English) So, what language do you speak otherwise?

Now you know what Kamal's views are w.r.t. language...

Refer back to the subtle, yet hard-hitting piece in D'ram where Balram Naidu chides Govind about the fact that an Andhraite can talk Tamil but a Thanjavur educated Tamilian prefers to continue speaking in English.

No, this post is NOT about linguistic preferences and the need for us to converse in our mother-tongue. Continuing the dialogue between UN and G...

G: (in English) Well, Tamil is my mother-tongue (semblance of an apologetic tone, perhaps)
UN: Oh... well... D'ram will come out in Hindi shortly (absolute Kamal-speak; usually the man jumps a few steps of logical thought process in his mind and expects others to be in the same plane)
G: (continuing in English) That is good. One small request. Can you please autograph a message for me? I can assure you that I will preserve it, as I admire your works greatly (and all that BS..)
UN: No problems. Where do you want it? (remember Kalaignan?)
G: (produces the work notebook - the usual G'earth one)
UN does a nice half-pager.
G thanks him profusely and withdraws from the scene.

All fine so far.

The only problem is what G did afterwards.

Now he is a great guy with a fantastic IQ and a razor sharp mind. Well-read, different perspectives to life, wine connoisseur, high network guy etc. Sometimes absent-minded, but then who isn't?

He leaves the hotel and after a hard-day's work reaches the airport.
Goes to the internet cafe to do some last minute e-mailing.

Now it beats me (haven't asked him the reason yet), why somebody who has just put in the hard eight hours at office 'and' wields a blackberry, would go to the internet cafe after all that. Let us attribute it to the vagaries of life.

And then - horror of horrors - forgets The autograph work-book in the internet cafe... @#$#%$^

Catches the flight and only after landing in SG realizes the missing autograph.

Oh my! I have given my word to UN and have promptly screwed it up...

(Bertie: Jeeves, what is the word that starts with 're..' and means that one feels very bad after letting somebody down?
Jeeves: Remorse, Sir?
Bertie: Right ho, Jeeves)

You would not be wrong if you thought that the lines above went through G's mind. Indeed, they did. But he is a man of action and calls up his team member in India and directs him to the airport Internet cafe to retrieve the work-book.

Steve Jobs (Apple-fame) said that life is all about connecting the dots and what you do will never go waste and will come back to repay you (good or bad) later. In Tamil they say... முற்பகல் செயின் பிற்பகல் தானே விளையும்...

Moving along those lines, I think Kamal did that song (வார்த்தை தவறி விட்டாய்... in இளமை ஊஞ்சலாடுகிறது) especially for such incidents. Thankfully, G managed to retrieve the autograph and life is back to normal again.

(some embellishments in the above post; but incidents are still true)

Fungus on the Face!

They say at 40, one tends to try different looks just for the heck of it.

Yeah, no young girl is going to look at you (You are already 'uncle', what?)

And the oldies don't care either. The wife does not care (too busy with her own looks, perhaps?) and the children are OK as long as you don't accompany them anywhere :-)

So, one tries different things...

Moustache today; None tomorrow.

After ten days - very short hair - almost GI cut...

Ten weeks later, try colouring the hair (usually it is after 5 weeks; but nowadays hair grows slowly! Could GM Food be the reason?)

Two weeks later, try left side parting...

You get the drift I suppose.

In this eternal search for change, one decided to grow some fungus on the face.

I don't know what is it with a beard - goatie/french, whatever you call it; people invariably show different emotions starting from the

left extreme: indifference to

right extreme: horror

traversing through 'wow', 'nice', 'why this sudden lunacy' etc.

So after a few days of careful saving of water, razor-time and shaving foam, one managed to grow a 'french'.

If you think that I am writing a treatise on growing a beard then please be rest assured that it is not the case.

This post is about

(a) 'Disadvantages of Having a Big Beard'

(b) How one 'Ulaga Nayagan (UN)' had a tough time because of his beard &

(c) Why Kamal is at his best - Reel or Real - when he does humour.

(Ulaga Nayagan = World's Hero or World Hero or (Other) Worldly Hero - depending on who you ask to translate)

Now, you all know that Kamal has decided to cultivate that great beard of his for 'Marma Yogi' and that the movie is to be produced by Walt Disney (The little wag says that Disney must have seen a great potential in Kamal to be an animated character after seeing Baby @ Khalifulla in D'ram!)

Last week in one of the Indian cities, G met Kamal in a 5* hotel break-fast hall. In G's words, it is his first brush with a celebrity. Quite an interesting brush, I should say! Read on.

Kamal, in his camoflage khakis, sneakers and that beard was drinking porridge (அட! நம்ப கஞ்சிப்பா!).

Very healthy, one opines.

UN then calls for a glass of butter-milk (watered down yoghurt for ye, psueds)

Mixes it with the porridge.

No problems so far.

UN then calls for pepper.

A pepper-grinder comes back. (You know those small bottle like things which have un-ground pepper in them and you twist the bottom to get freshly ground pepper powder. The trick is in twisting the bottom by holding the bottle straight and the pepper comes from the bottom opening)

UN tries to shake the bottle upside down. No pepper powder.

UN calls the waiter. (Remember Sathi Leelavathi's 'Waiter, where is the menu card?')

Waiter helps out in a jiffy, albeit with a suppressed smile.

UN mixes the freshly-ground pepper and pushes a spoonful of peppered-butter-milk-porridge (PBMP) into the bushy mouth.

Alamak! Half the gruel on the beard :(

Problem, problem, problem.

But then UN is not UN if he can't resolve this.

Calls the waiter and asks for something.

Waiter nods, smiles and returns in a second with a .... straw!

UN then uses the straw to drink the PBMP.

Break-fast over; Beard is safe!

இதைத்தான் ராயபுரத்திலே 'கூழுக்கும் ஆசை, மீசைக்கும் ஆசைன்னா, Straw போட்டுக் குடி'ன்னு சொல்லுவாங்களாம்! ( நன்றி: K) - Sorry can't translate this - no attempt will do justice to this gem!

Kamal is at his best, when he does humour - Reel or Real.
மேட்டர் ஓவர்! (Defence Rests!)

P.S. G later button-holes the great man and gets his autograph. Thanks for the scoop, mate!

Back to the Passion!

(c)www.vasantham.com



Been involved with the production of the Vasantham Challenge 2008 quiz show for primary children recently.


Very enriching experience to be working with those wonderful people from Pixel.


The mid-night oil burnt all these years on the various community club quizzes (and of course 'the' WC2007 exercise) is helping a lot. But doing something for the national TV audience is a different ball game altogether. Reminds one of the dialogue by Raghuvaran (may his soul rest in peace) in Mudhalvan about the trials and tribulations of being a Chief Minister...


And the children.... oh! they are great. So sharp and so smart! Keeps you on your toes, all the time.


Good fun inspite of the pressure!
Watch out for the episodes on Fridays at 8 pm on Vasantham!
My 15 milliseconds of fame :-)
But missing the hot sun and cricket umpiring !
Mosur is already threatening to take my name off the roster :-(

வேலையற்ற வீணர்களின்...

Got this via some spam.

எவ்வளவு பேர்டா இதமாதிரி கிளம்பியிருக்கீங்க?

அடுத்த படம் கமல் 100 வேஷம்னு கேள்விப் பட்டேன். உடனே மக்கள் அந்த நூறையும் மகாபாரதத்தோட கெளரவர்களோட link பண்ணிடுவாங்க... அடங்கமாட்டாங்கப்பா!

(Heard that Kamal is going to do 100 roles in his next movie. Guys will compare him to the 100 Kauravas from Mahabharata! Tough life!)


Perfect 10!!! Dasavataram

One thing we had noticed is why people didn't get the real subtext and reason for the various roles and hence the title. If you knew the real dasavatharams of Lord Vishnu and their characters you can appreciate the script more. Let me explain, starting with the best adapted role:

1. Krishna avatar - Vincent Poovaraghavan

Lord krishna is actually a dalit, he is dark-skinned [shyamalam]. He saved draupadi when she was being violated and he was the actual diplomat in mahabharatham. Lord krishna dies of an arrow striking his lower leg. Now look at how vincent was introduced.. he appears when asin is about to be molested and he saves her like draupadi. Vincent is the dalit diplomat, fights for land issue [soil issue to be exact] and dies from the metal rod striking his leg. Oh even five of vincent's men are drugged at P. Vasu's.. sounds familiar???

2. Balarama avatar - Balarama naidu

This is an easy one. As the name suggests and the role personifies you can easily get it.

3. Mathsya avatar - Ranagaraja nimbi

Nambi is thrown into water in an act of trying to save Lord from being thrown into sea, though vainly. what more clue?

4. Varaha avatar - Krishnaveni paatti

During the mukunda song, krishnaveni paatti does varaha avatar in the shadow puppetry. The frame freezes on it for a second. there is the clue. Moreover, in varaha avatar lord actually hides earth so as to protect life forms. Here too krishnaveni hides the germs - life form inside the statue so as to protect.

5. Vamana avatar - Kalifulla khan

Remember in vamana avatar, lord vishnu takes the vishvaroopa, that is the giant form! Hence the giant kalifulla here symbolises vamana avatar.

6. Parasurama avatar - Christian Fletcher

Parasurama is actually on an angry killing spree and killed 21 generations of the particular kshatriya vamsa. Hence the real KILLER... Guess what, thats what our Fletcher is! He comes around with the gun [modern upgrade for axe] and kills everyone around. I have to check if he kills 21 people though. :-D

7. Narasimha avatar - Shingen Narahashi

First of all the name itself is a play on the words singam [means lion in tamil] and narasimha [the avatar being symbolised]. Lord Narasimha manifests himelf to kill the bad guy and he also teaches prahaladha. In the movie, he shows up to kill the killer fletcher! and is also a teacher.. Lord Narasimha had to kill the asura with bare hands and hence the martial arts exponent here.. get it?

8. Rama avatar - Avatar Singh

Lord Rama stands for the one man one woman maxim, kind of symbolising true love.. Here Avatar portrays that spirit by saying that he loves his woman more than anything and wants to live for her.

9. Kalki avatar - Govindaraj Ramasamy

As you know, the hero in kaliyug can be none other than the Kalki avatar!!!

10. Koorma avatar – Bush

This is the most loose (பார்த்த நாங்களும் லூசுதாம்பா!) adaptation I couldn't clearly comprehend. But if you look at the real koorma avatar, the lord is the turtle/tortoise that helps in stirring the ksheera sagara and bringing out the amruth. This essentially creates war among the devas and asuras. Similarly today Bush facilitates war between you know whom... May be Kamal also indicates that this avatar is a bit dumb like the tortoise...

Kuselan Songs: எப்படா திருந்துவீங்க?

Hearing the songs on the net just now.

Immediate reaction is given in the title. (Loosely translated: When will you ever change?)

Three out of five songs, extol the virtues of Super Star and that tells you the story. Nothing sells like Super Star and hence the reports about Pasupathy getting peeved on being sidelined in the audio release exercise is justified from both sides :-)

(a) Who would want to devote real estate on CD covers for a person who has probably only one song in the movie?
(b) But then atleast two sqcm of area could have been given for a role which is supposed to be the backbone of the movie!

Well, the mythological story of Kuselan was told to exhibit the benevolence of Lord Krishna, right? So, beggars cannot be choosers - no pun intended here!

As far as the lyrics of Super * songs, the poets (?) have come up with new sobriquets and newer ways to whip up the S* frenzy - why is one word springing to my mind, throughout the listening experience - Sycophancy ?

Without the sword of Rajini hanging over their heads, they have tried to redeem themselves in sollamma & chaaral.

எல்லாம் இந்த ஒரு சாண் வயிறுக்குத்தானே ஐயா?
(After all, it is all for money, right?)

GV Prakash has rehashed ARR's tunes and pieces all over the place and you get the feeling that you have heard the song somewhere before. One of the famous axioms of Broadway musicals is, "People should always feel that they have heard the song before!" - GVP has achieved that pretty much.

So, in short, music is nothing to write home about.

Yet,
- people will - yours truly included - buy the CD/cassette/movie tickets/VCD/DVD at the drop of a hat.
- intellectuals will crib that the movie was not as good as the original (all ye mallu friends! you can have a field day ridiculing this paandi movie as well!)

We shall wait for the next offering of mindless trash from either Rajini or Kamal or Vijay or Ajit or Vishal or Dhanush or ...

What to do? We are like that only!

Dasavatharam: Papa Don't Preach!

Finally, watched the latest offering from Kamal - probably the 17000th show of the movie post release! And to think that the movie is hardly three days old; shows the excessive dependence of openings by all and sundry in the industry. The wag inside says "அப்பதானே ஒண்ணும் தெரியாத அப்பாவி மக்கள அமுக்கிப் போட முடியும்!"... (only then, you can catch the innocent people unawares!)

Coming to D'ram... as the late great Sujatha used to say, can write the storyline at the back of a postage stamp.

Dangerous virus nullified by Tsunami and not God.

If the story had stayed with the first five words then it would have won the hearts of people. But the addition of last three words has caused the potential loss of a blockbuster status for the movie.

[But please don't confuse this with the 5 vs 8 discussion that takes place in the movie; the numbers mentioned above are purely coincidental!]

As usual, Kamal Rocks - not once, but ten times...as

- Rangarajan Nambi - fights for the Vaishnavism;
- Govindarajan (son of Ramasamy Naicker - an artist; not Periyar, not Kalaignar we are clearly told) tries to keep monkeys away from virii which are more potent than Ebola times thousand;
- George Bush - decides that the virus is better off being sent to India than returning back to USA;
- Chris Fletcher - shows us why ex-CIA agents are better than anybody else except...
- Nikkumo Nikkado (I made that name up:)) - perhaps the odd Japanese Karate Master who is out to avenge his sister's death;
- Avtaar Singh - loves his wife so much to give up singing, only to be cured by a bullet;
- Baby @ Khalifulla - overlords everybody as a graphics-induced-lighthouse
- Balram Naidu - tickles you pink as the aravam-spewing, telugu-loving bumbling cop
- Poovarahan Vincent - talks green-Dalitism in that fabulous Thirunelveli-Kerala tamil
- Krishnaveni - a senile 95-year old woman - drags Perumaal (yes, the Lord Himself) into the story!

If these lady and gentlemen are not enough, there is Asin to represent the I-shall-stick-to-the-Lord-like-Fevicol generation, PVasu-SanthanaBharati-Sundararajan sand-baggers, the delightful Jayaprada as Ranjeet Singh (Kaur?), Nagesh-KRVijaya Koran-and-People loving parents...oh! I forgot, the professional translator-cum-killer Mallika Sheravat (I think Gowthami Todimalla ran out of budget while designing her costumes and therefore...) the list goes on. But nobody gets etched in your memory as Kamal easily overshadows anybody and everybody in sight.

This is a movie that tries to show its intelligence in each and every frame, not to mention the intellectual inclination of Kamal!

Examples abound including...
- Ebola virus
- NaCl (until a very passing mention in the end, non-chemistry students will not be wiser that NaCl is actually common salt and that sea water has that in abundance; duh!)
- Puns between Nambi and Cholan (Napoleon)
- Blatant and not-so-blatant religious situations - way too many, starting from Kamal getting knocked on his forehead similar to Sri-Choornam only to be plastered immediately resembling a cross, the 'Amman Thunai' boat thrown on top of CSI along with the Perumal idol, how the Tsunami spares the people inside a mosque... it became tiresome after sometime.
- Too many 'விதண்டாவாதம்' dialogues - even the movie ends with one... 'கடவுள் இல்லைன்னு சொல்லலை! கடவுள் இருந்திருந்தா நல்லா இருக்கும்னு தான் சொல்றேன்!' (I am not saying that there is no God! It would have been great if He had been there!) but this has the potential to become as powerful as 'நீங்க நல்லவரா? கெட்டவரா? தெரியலேயேப்பா!' (Are you a good man or a bad man? But I don't know my dear!)

It is precisely this intelligence that has moved the movie to be more preachy than out-and-out entertaining.

Nambi preaches Vaishnavism, Govindarajan spews anything that could be atheistic to agnostic, Chris Fletcher vows by Capitalism, George Bush: escapism, Krishnaveni: sentiment; Poovarahan: Environment - you get the drift, I suppose.

What Kamal has tried to do is to give an 'Anbe Sivam' in a commercial container - being more explicit; being grander but ending being more confused.

Technically, the movie is a marvel, except a few frames, where the graphics were very clearly just that...graphics.

In the incessant chase between New York to Chennai to Chengalput to Chidambaram to Dindivanam to somewhere on the east coast to Nehru Stadium, one easily forgot that there are ten Kamals in the movie. As a result, the effort put in by Kamal and his crew to manage some very nifty multi-shots might get poo-pooed by people. But believe me, those are out there and they are fantastic. In a way, the hectic - albeit contrived - movement of the story can be attributed to the same.

Overall, full paisa-vasool because of the efforts that Kamal has put in - a good tail-piece in the end shows how much of prosthetic material has been used to get all the avataars...

But due to the inherent preachiness and confusion on the message to be conveyed, one should therefore pray for this movie to be a blockbuster (as against a normal hit), so that Kamal can continue his experiments in cinema.

To pray, i.e. தசாவதாரம் புஸ்ஸாவதாரம் ஆகாமல் இருக்க ... you can pick your choice - given purely based on alphabetical order)

(1) Allah
(2) Buddha
(3) Guru Govind
(4) Dollars
(5) Jehova (some reference to Jews, while the story was in Washington DC)
(6) Jesus
(7) Vishnu
(8) All of the above
(9) Some of the above
(10) None of the above

Confused? So am I.

P.S: Guys had panned the music; it is actually good; three of the songs were pretty hummable considering that I heard them for the first time in the theatre.

Lightest moment of the movie: The huge applause that greeted the shot that showed Chennai Airport after the story moved to India from US of A!!!! So much for America craze!

Remote Killing

After what seemed to be like a million noisy days and nights in the so-called condominium, we finally shifted home – or should I say shifted boxes – to the friendly neighborhood: HDB heartland.

Well, this post is not about house shifting or any such mundane activities. Yeah, right! Mundane, my foot! What with about 100 boxes and three round-trips of the truck and a tipsy bribe to the movers (he, he! The wine bottles were just lying there and decided to be generous :-), the move was anything but mundane. Exciting to say the least.

The marathon exercise started at around an un-Godly hour of 9 in the morning and ended at around seven in the evening.

Like a true warrior, yours truly, went about fixing the cable TV (cannot live without IPL!) and the cable modem (How can I do my Macbeth assignment without computer and internet?). And success it was, on the first attempt.

TV connected to power mains?
Check.
Cable Set-top box connected to power mains?
Check.
Cables snaked to different slots?
Check.
Power on?
Check.
Correct channel on?
Eeee… it is Sun TV. Where is IPL?
Where is the remote?

‘Patta! Where is the remote?’

Dear lady was fixing the gas stove and other such stupid things just to ensure that the next day’s food would be available! What impertinence? Is the gas stove more important than the TV remote?

Acid levels in the tummy increase manifold. Decibel levels multiply (it is logarithmic, you see!). Whining starts. Frantic search ensues. Boxes being torn open.

‘Did you pack it in one of the living room boxes?’
‘I remember putting it in the box along with the CDs and cassettes.’
‘Appa, I want to watch Kathu Karuppu!’
‘If you don’t mind, can we watch the news?’
‘I am hungry and angry’

Mood swing was uni-directional almost akin to the US dollar rate against all-comers.

It took at least 25 boxes to be opened before…
.
.
.
we gave up and reconciled to the drudgery that was (is?) being served by Maaran brothers in the name of entertainment. But then WYSIWYG – a slight change to the classic computer acronym – What You Sow Is What You Get ;-)

In the mean time, telephone calls were being made to the cable TV company to get a new remote delivered (‘Dad! It is only 20 dollars if we go and get it tomorrow morning first thing, else it is 30 dollars for delivery you know. I think we have a good deal to go and collect it!’)

After having spent so much on the new house, 20 (or thirty for that matter) seemed to be a pittance, but then all ye middle-class Madhavans, fret not! I did not succumb to the pressures of Gen-Z and stood my ground.

We shall overcome the tyranny of the remote by searching for it in the remaining 75 boxes. If we don’t find it in the next one week, then we shall search the next week and so on.

The mind definitely willed. But the flesh is weakening by the hour…So...
.
.
.

Do you happen to have a spare cable TV remote? I will return it as soon as I trace it in one of the remaining cartons...No, no! I am not shaking. It is just the damn air-conditioner temparature setting, I think... What? The air-conditioner is not on?
Let it be... Do you happen to have a spare cable TV remote?

அரிசிமணி முதல் கவிதைமணி வரை...

நண்பர் சேவியர் ஒரு கவிதைப் பிரியர்.

அழகு கவிதைகள் எழுதுவதில் வல்லவர்.

இனிப்புக் கவணி (னி?) அரிசி [பர்மாவிலிருந்து வந்ததாம்!] தந்து என்னைக் கவிழ்த்துவிட்டார் என்றே சொல்ல வேண்டும்.

அவர் எழுதி என்னைக் கவர்ந்த சில சாம்பிள்கள் இங்கே...

நிச்சயிக்கப்பட்ட திருமணம்

ஒரு ஊர் குருவி சிறைப்பறவை ஆகிறது

முப்பெருவெளியின் சங்கமம்

மற்றவற்றை திண்ணையில் தேடுங்கள்.

Pom De Terre! HNY!!!

In this Year of the Potato:

May your French Fries taste better with less cholesterol!
May you be subjected to less 'Hot Air'!!

May you be less of a Couch Potato!! (there, the reason for the picture :0)

In this Year of Sanitation (and Presidential Elections):

May you be exposed to less 'B*** S***'!

In this Year of Planet Earth:

May you use less paper, less water, less power and less plastic!

In this Year of 2008:

May you continue to lead a Happy, Healthy and Hearty life!!

Happy New Year!

SriBees

"Oru Thala" Raagam ("ஒரு தல" ராகம்)

Welcome back.

It has been exactly six months since the last post. When the dust finally settled, Sivaji the Boss, had taken such a heavy toll on one's life that frequent blogging was definitely put in the back-burner.

But what better way to come back than to write a piece on the latest 'thala ("தல") movie Billa.

Story: You know it. No point in wasting newsprint on that. No change at all from the original. Since most of us know the story (KTv even aired the original on 2nd Dec), the director has decided to concentrate on a good presentation of the movie.

Execution: Absolutely stylish. A Hollywood-Tamil movie to say the least. Very crisp. Quick cuts. Stunning visuals and locales. Great costumes. Movie itself happening in Malaysia completely helps.

Before the movie begins, one gets to see the trailer of Bheema. The difference between the Vikram starrer and Billa is like chalk and cheese - in terms of presentation at least! Billa scores a direct hit in this department.

The biggest plus is duration: 2 hrs and 10 minutes. Take five songs off it, you are talking of telling a rivetting story in about an hour and three-quarters! Nobody sheds tears. Nobody smiles - even the audience don't, inspite of Ajith and Santhanam's valiant but insipid attempts to lighten the mood.

Ajith has poured his heart, soul and physical effort into the movie. Looks dashing-to-the-core in designer-like clothes. Even gives some style tips to his cronies about the type of sun-glasses, hair-styling etc. I was under the impression that Rajini's styling in Sivaji will take something to beat. But Billa upstages it so easily - not just for Ajith, but for everybody. No garish dresses, no face/belly/head/road paintings. [My daughter with all her nine-year-old wisdom, easily identifies Shankar's movies just by looking at the road! If it is painted, then it has to be Shankar's!]

No other character is worth writing home about. Even in the short two-hour time frame of a Hollywood movie, there are at least two/three characters who get etched properly. The problem that VV faces is that he has filmed an HW-like movie but with five songs! Those twenty-odd minutes take the vital time away from his screen play thus resulting in incomplete sketching of the characters.

And the songs... aaarghhh! They could have stopped with just the two remixed songs. [Oh! by the way, Ajith extols the virtue of Tamil by asking, "Why do we do puja for Murugan - a Tamil God - in a language other than Tamil?"] Matter over.

I have to say that when I watched the original two weeks back, I was struck by the good production values of those years but the screenplay is definitely anachronistic now! To that extent Billa-2007 will satiate the current crowd of youngsters and ask them to yearn for more.

Billa: Old Wine (definitely tasting better); but in a very sexy, curvy Bottle!!

Lighter side:

A "black and white" Colour movie - such is the dominance of the two colours that one almost felt like watching a '60s movie!

A no-smiler: I think that director VV had a very strict dictat against everybody from smiling. Ajith, the main culprit of the movie in this regard, even has the gall to comment on one of his lackeys "Why doesn't he smile at all?"

Namitha hates Nayan: "I hate her" - That is Nammu's dialogue on Nayan - more for Nayan showing off more oomph than the Gujju bomb. Total of three female stars in the movie: All three dressed up as 'item' girls. தாங்காதுடா சாமி!!

New Tatoo on the block...erhem... on the bot: The staid Singapore viewers were all agog on watching the Billa insignia just above Nayan's-you-know-where! Talking about tatoos, strange that the director did not have any tatoos on Nammu; probably cost cutting, as that exercise would have meant significant ink cost to cover the acreage!!

Till the next one...

Sivaji Jives!

Well this is arguably the first public domain review of the would-be block-buster Sivaji!

Thanks to one's residence being in Singapore, it was possible to have a head-start of at least 30 minutes before the first premiere in India started.

First things first...

Story:

Sivaji, a INR 250-crore-less-USD-10, senior software architect returns to India to do the following things in whatever order you want to choose...

(a) To build a huge foundation using 80% of his wealth (you are reminded about 200C throughout the movie)
(b) To get a good "Tam" girl as life-partner.

As is expected he faces troubles on both fronts. Adi Seshan, the educationist places enough road-blocks on the way through the giant machine that is the Indian bureaucracy/legislature. Inspite of oiling the machines appropriately, Sivaji runs into problems galore.

The love-life also does not go that well as Thamizhselvi does not reciprocate the 'feelings' of Sivaji. But Sivaji persists and finally she accepts Sivaji inspite of a strong dose of NO NO by a stain-tongued josiar (Shankar or not, you can't have a Rajini movie nowadays without a God-man!)

In the mean time, Adi engineers a government change to let the bureaucracy/legislature to run amok on the Sivaji Foundation. Our hero loses all the money and Adi in a fit of absolute villainy offers Sivaji a ONE RUPEE COIN as alms.

Post intermission, Sivaji gets a second wind literally and decides to attack the scourge of black money. According to a certain flash presentation on Sivaji's IBM Thinkpad, there is more than INR 200,000 Crores unaccounted money in India. He therefore goes after the big-black-money-baddies and gets their money via good old black-mail.

Thereafter, through some nifty havala transactions, Sivaji launders all the money as donations for Sivaji Foundation and he ends up making at least half of Tamil Nadu yearn for more good through the Foundation. Colleges, hospitals, industries - all acting absolutely above board and only helping the needy.

He plays double jeopardy with the baddies by throwing them into jail as well.

No, the movie is not over yet.

In a strange case of josiar&CBI-induced-fear, Thamizh goes and hands over Sivaji's Thinkpad to CBI and our man gets arrested. But Sivaji, the SSA has implemented a voice-activation-algorithm on the notebook and CBI is lost now.

After a brutal police+Adi interrogation, Sivaji dies.

See you tomorrow.

.
.
.
.
.

Oh, I am sorry. The movie is not over yet.

In a a-la Casino Royale move, Sivaji gets de-fibrillated and comes back as ... no-points-for-guessing... MGR!!!!

In a no-holds-barred, money-raining climax, Adi meets his Maker through poetic justice.

Sivaji aka MGR lives with Thamizhselvi happily ever after.

Review:

Positives:

Rajini is absolutely dashing. Thanks to fantastic make-up artists he looks stunning. Not to mention the various outfits and professional grooming, his style quotient has reached the skies in this movie. I cannot remember another movie where he looked so good. May be Badshah, perhaps. (When will people stop comparing every Rajini movie to Badshah? That is for a separate post) His action and dance sequences are as usual peerless. Surprising to see so much energy in that 'young' man, still.

Sriya - Thanks to better sense prevailing, we did not have another-Sadha (or was it Saadha?) as a heroine. Sufficient glamour quotient. Enough navel displays, discreetly though.

Vivek - As my son said, he acts as the balancing influence on Rajini. Keeps the comedy track pushing through. Shankar has used him intelligently. He brings the house down with quite a few punch dialogues - which Rajini has avoided like anything, except for one phrase அதிருதில்லே?!! (Loosely translated to: Aren't you shaking on seeing/hearing me?)

Suman: After ages, Suman is back with ugly dentures - apparently Shankar wanted him to have those; what all people will do to get into his movies? Tries to exude cool menace. Does not succeed much, though.

Others: Manivannan & Vadivukkarasi (as Rajini's parents) have less chance to act than Sriya's parents (Pattimandram Raja and a Sun TV news reader - Uma?). Solomon Paapiah also provides some comic relief. Almost every other artist from the industry has a presence in the movie: Livingston, Raghuvaran, Chinni Jayanth, Damu, Mayilsamy, Ilavarasu, Shanmugarajan, Vikram Vasu to name a few. Have a vague suspicion that they would have acted without any pay :-)

Songs: Great picturization. It is a pleasure watching Shankar's songs. When the DVD comes up, I am sure we will not be FFWDing the songs. The hardwork is simply amazing and hats off!

Desperate camera-work.
Sleepy re-recording - except for the magudi-like piece whenever Adi appears & the tabla when Rajini taps his head
Tremendous action blocks: if the Binny mill fight is vintage Rajini, the open-air-theatre car fight is new and the climax proves Shankar's fixation towards Matrix-style stunts.
Sujatha has dialogued within the limited framework of a Rajini movie.

Shankar: The effort that has gone in is amazing. As usual, every last detail has been taken care of. Has worked very hard to keep his brand barely afloat in the sea of Rajini-fans' expectations. One could clearly sense that he has worked with one hand tied to the back throughout the movie due to those expectations. He has tried to tell a message (including those post-movie stills) - but in a Rajini movie, the BoSS is THE message. I think that he will make the millions of Rajini fans more than happy and that in itself is a big achievement.

Interesting touches: Drum fight, Rajini as Sivaji, MGR and Kamal, his new styles/mannerisms (watch out for the coin-tossing, sun-glass removals etc.; I loved it!), use of technology - voice-activated laptops, mobile in rice, MMS messages, interesting places to hide your black-money, Tatkal surgery on the minister(influenced by Jeffrey Archer's Not-a-penny-more-Not-a-penny-less ?) ... and several more.

Negatives:

The movie is uni-dimensional. But almost all Rajini movies are so; exceptions are Chandramukhi & Badshah. In C'mukhi, while Rajini played the psychiatrist (or was he a psychologist?), Jyothika played the split-personality-damsel to perfection; this kept the movie taut. Remember Shankar's Anniyan: There were three dimensions of Vikram alone to follow not to forget Prakash Raj...That made the movie more enjoyable.

Padaiyappa was unidimensional but Neelambari character was so powerful that the movie stood on that simple enmity between a right(eous?) man and a wrong(ed?) woman.

Villainy (not Suman as villain) was inadequate. A paying audience wants to see an equal good-vs-evil fight and in the end good should win. It is no fun watching Australia thulping Ireland for five times in a row (it could have been India; but Ireland is just for an effect, you see) And if you are going to send inadequate goondas - who side up with Rajini somewhere along the line, then it is Australia all the way. It is not easy to imagine the unseen villains of the government officers, power-brokers, legislators etc.

Inadequate support characterizations: Except for Rajini, to an extent Suman and Vivek, there are no characters worth the name in the picture. Almost a stand-up drama?

Final Verdict:

Rajini really rocks. Absolutely stylish portrayal. New mannerisms. Great action sequences. Fabulous song picturizations.
Downside, weak and predictable story line. No worthy baddies to fight for.

Is it better than Badshah? No.
Is it better than Anniyan? No.
Is it better than Chandramukhi? No.

But then who cares?

It IS a RAJINI movie after more than two years and

• when you watch him on the screen with 1500 people crying hoarse and whistling throughout the movie,


• when you see people - young, old, executive, blue-collar dancing in the aisles for every move the man makes on the screen,


• when at the end of the movie, you see that satisfied glow on your children's faces which can come only after they had a good time...

...you know that this momentum alone will take the movie past 100 days on its way to being declared a block-buster.

So, go ahead guys. Have a good 185 minutes of fun and close out the issue.

The Gentlemen's Cup 2007

Singapore wins Saudara Cup after four years!!

When the sun was setting around Bandar Kinrara on May 20th Sunday evening, there was history being made by the young Singapore team. Under the cosh for most part of the day, the Singapore team led admirably by Chaminda Ruwan won the annual Singapore-Malaysia “Ashes” by a slender margin of 27 runs – the exact number of runs that they led their Northern neighbours after the first innings.

To term the victory as a miracle will belittle the efforts put in by the red caps.

To call the game ‘lost by Malaysia, more than won by Singapore’ will only be telling half the story.

To call it a ‘come from behind victory’ will be pedantic and

To call that cricket is a glorious game of uncertainties will be clichéd.

I would like to call this a victory of self-belief, a victory of never-say-die spirit, a victory of a quiet belief that I could sense in the team as I boarded the bus on that rainy afternoon on 17th May at Kallang.

For detailed daily reports, check the following links:

Day 1: When Munish ruled!

Day 2: Suresh and Stumpings!

Day 3: Dreamy Dharmi!

Saudara Light List

For the statistically minded, Singapore won the game by 27 runs exactly the number of runs it scored as the first innings lead.

But in my opinion, the margin did not matter. The victory did. The manner of victory did. In reality, this team should have steam-rolled the Malaysian team which was short on experience and talent as well. Nine out of ten times, this team would have done that exactly. But this year’s Saudara edition was the tenth one. In cricket, as in life, you do not get what you wish for. Under those circumstances, one has to gut it out in the middle, roll with the punches, grab half-chances, convert opportunities and most importantly, NEVER SAY DIE.

And they proposed that they would like to dedicate the victory to the two late Singapore cricketers who epitomised that spirit - Mr Sathivail and Mr Dennis Meyer.

Congratulations dear young warriors in Red Caps! You definitely deserve the kudos that you will be getting for this great victory. Ensure that you bask in that glory and ensure that that handsome trophy donated by the non-benders from both sides of the causeway for a princely sum of RM 33,000 in 1970, stays with us for years to come!

Saudara Cup: The Lighter List

Quote of the match:

OK boys! They don’t know how to do it! So let us do it!! Chaminda Ruwan, the Singapore skipper to his boys on that eventful third day evening, revealing his inclination towards things that are Nike!

Ball of the match:

Shoib Razak’s in-swinging yorker to Suresh Navaratnam which pretty much ended Malaysia’s hopes of a victory. A dream delivery from the Paki!

Catch of the match:

The gutsy Krishnamurthy has killed many a Singaporean hope both with the ball and the bat in the past. Even in this edition, he scored a crucial 30+ in the first innings. When he was promoted to follow Eszrafiq on the final day, there were obviously high hopes. All of them fizzled out, when Dharmichand Mulewa gobbled up a low, dying catch one-handed onto his right, of his own bowling. That was commitment.

Shot of the match:

Chris Janik was called the Matt Hayden of Singapore, by a learned gentleman from across the causeway. Even if one says that the comparison is too harsh on the youngster, his account-opening square sizzler on Day 2 against the Malaysian spearhead, Suresh was so good that even the bowler was supposed to have applauded the shot. Take a bow, Chris!

Fall of the match:

Umpire Sri Ganesh (me, me, me) avoided a Suresh-straight-drive Exocet missile off Buddhika by the best way possible. Lying low – no actually, it was diving low and staying there until the air was clear of explosives ;-)

Youngster of the match:

Malaysia’s wicket keeper Shafiq – hardly 17 and yet kept like a pro and promptly collected a record. He was enthusiastic to the core and kept goading his bowlers and fielders to perform better. His batting was a revelation at no. 9. Watch out for this chap in the future games!

Most expensive dive of the match:

With things on a balance, when runs were like gold, Munish Arora dived in covers to save a non-existent single. Last heard, MCA is planning to send an invoice to Munish towards levelling that particular area in the outfield!

Gentleman of the match:

Glenn Meyer – when he ‘walked’ after nicking a Krishnamurthy delivery in the second innings. Cricket is still a gentlemen’s game, folks!

Saudara 2007 - Final Day

If one could discern any smiles in the Singapore camp on the Sunday morning, it was on Shoib’s face – for he was the one who always said that Chelsea would win the FA cup finals the previous night. But one heard that almost none of the boys were interested in watching the game, as they had other more important and pressing things to consider and be concerned about at the happenings at Kirara Oval rather than the new Wembley stadium.

The game plan was simple for both the teams. For Malaysia, get the remaining wickets fast and furious; contain the target to less than 250 and then go for victory. For Singapore, occupy the crease; score runs at a reasonable clip; get the target to 275+ with enough time to bowl out Malaysia. As an onlooker, you could not have asked for more. And I am sure that draw was not in the minds of neither skipper.

It looked like Singapore’s plan would succeed after they had safely negotiated Suresh’s first spell in the morning. But then bad habits die hard. First it was Dharmichand, who decided to take on Shukri – Shukri bowled admirably in the second innings by keeping the batsmen honest, got deceived and gave Shafiq the third stumping of the game.

In walked first innings rear-guard man Arun to join Munish. Munish sensed that he would go for the kill and scored a six. And when he tried to repeat the stroke against the wily Shukri – you guessed it, he got stumped!!! Fourth stumping for young Shafiq in the same innings. Statisticians are going to have a field day. It was also his fifth dismissal of the innings and you could hear the boy jumping and pleading everyone to get him one dismissal to create a record of six in one innings.

Arun succumbed to the pressure of Eszrafiq; Shoib and Manoj puttered around for a while before Suresh returned to end the misery for Shoib by getting him to nick to in-cloud-nine-Shafiq.

Singapore ended with a disappointing 213, setting a target of 241 to Malaysia in a possible 77 overs. A shade over three runs an over. With no devils in the wicket except for the odd one turning slowly, you could guess which dressing room was happier at the innings-change.

For Singapore, the pre-lunch period of 40 minutes was crucial and they needed to take a wicket or two to put the pressure on Malaysia. But Rakesh and Suhan came back with different intentions and played sensible cricket through and through. Rakesh was the more aggressive of the two and when he slashes, he usually throws the kitchen sink at it. One such case was a hard chance to the first slip and there was another chance off a no-ball. The bowler to suffer on both occasions was Arun, who probably bowled the fastest spell by a bowler from either side in the match during that period. All said and done, Malaysia went into have a good lunch with all wickets intact and less than two hundred runs to win the game – don’t even count the overs remaining.

Post-lunch, Chaminda tried different combinations but to no avail. The two openers played sensible cricket much to the delight of the small but very vocal supporter group consisting of girls from Malaysian Air Force, ex-internationals, and other well-wishers. Each run was greeted with thunderous applause and each boundary was treated as if it was the winning shot. And you can imagine their happiness when the two crossed the century mark for the opening wicket. Finally after infinite permutations and combinations Chaminda got it right when he let Dharmi bowl from the road-end. Suhan Kumar who had batted so well in the first innings as well, played across to a straight one from Dharmi and was adjudged LBW to open the gates for Singapore.
The next batsman Suriaprakash followed soon after in identical fashion. From a strong 107/0, Malaysia had slipped to 109/2. With plenty of overs and strong batsmen to come in, it was still the hosts’ game to win or lose, but one could sense a flutter or two in the Malay camp.

The portly Eszrafiq started off aggressively and scored shots and runs at will all round the wicket. With the score at 170/2 and 30 overs remaining to score the 70-odd runs, Singapore should have ideally thrown in the towel. But that did not happen.

Shoib Razak, who was in the middle of an interesting and I should say, INSPIRING spell of reverse swing and plan, decided to start bowling a couple of feet outside the off-stump to Eszrafiq banking on the youngster’s aggression to yield a mistake. Yield it did and how the match turned on that moment!?!

After having pushed a few of those deliveries powerfully to the fielders in the off-side cordon, Eszrafiq chose to change the angle of his stroke to break the shackles. But the additional swing that got imparted on the old ball, made it move the additional inch or so. The resulting half-drive, half-edge flew to the point-gully region where Christopher Janik made no mistake and one could sense Singapore smelling blood. (170/3)

At the other end, Rakesh completed his well deserved century including that memorable six of a Chaminda bouncer, which went miles into the nets.

The new batsman was Krishnamurthy who has frustrated Singapore many a time with his timely cameos to snatch victory from defeats. Sunday was not to be one of those days; in the middle of a dream spell, Dharmi held one back and Krishna could only half check his drive and the resulting catch was smartly taken by the bowler one-handed and inches off the ground. (179/4)

Anuar, who did not field for the entire second innings came out and returned to the pavilion promptly. With no feet movement, he wafted at a Shoib-lolly-pop outside the off-stump and Chetan behind the stumps gobbled it up neatly. (181/5)

Still it was Malaysia’s game as there was the centurion Rakesh batting beautifully when Suresh Navaratnam, the first innings hero for Malaysia strode in.

Chetan behind the stumps was exhorting Shoib to get the new man first ball. One felt that it was more bluster and more hope than any real possibility. But what is life when hope does not get converted into a possibility? Shoib, who until then has been bowling two feet outside the off-stump and induced false shots from batsmen decided to come to the party big time.

The ball he chose to come in with was one of the rare beauties – an in-swinging yorker. Suresh failed to negotiate it completely and ended up getting clean bowled. And you could have heard Shoib’s roar in Kallang! (181/6)

Within a span of five balls, three wickets had fallen and now it was the Singapore contingent, consisting of a grand total of 17 people: 14 players, one coach, one manager and one trainer, which was the loudest.

Malaysia skipper Vishnu came in and played for a few overs. There was one sweet lofted drive off Shoib to settle some nerves. But with the score at 201 in the 59th over, he decided to have a go at Dharmi and promptly holed out to Arun Vijayan in the deep-mid-wicket region. The gasp of despair from the stands was understandable, as Vishnu along with Rakesh could have taken Malaysia to the victory easily. And what followed was even more disastrous. Three balls later, Rakesh who had lived by the sword, perished when he tried to force a cut through the slips by feathering a nick to the jubilant Chetan. (201/8) That gave Dharmi a well-deserved five-for against all odds.

A word about Dharmi’s bowling here; after an indifferent bowling effort by his high standards in the first innings, he came back strongly in the second innings. There was the flight, variation of lengths, the straighter ones, the loop, the aggression, the cunning. It was a pure delight to watch the master at work.

Darvin Muralitharan and Shafiq decided to play on. One has to remember that these two youngsters scored a combined 38 runs in the first innings with their clever placements and some audacious strokes. Shafiq proved that the first innings was no flash in the pan when he cover-drove Shoib for a boundary.

But it was not to be Malaysia’s day when in the first over of the last hour of play, Darvin played a good sweep off Dharmi, only to discover that he had dislodged the bails while completing the stroke. Hit wicket! (212/9)

Singapore sensing that history is there to be made, brought in Arun Vijayan to ‘express’ things out. Of the third ball of his innings, exactly at 17:34 pm on May 20th 2007, Arun trapped Malaysia no. 11 batsman Shukri LBW and the celebrations began right in earnest on the field itself.

The ebullient Singapore wicket-keeper Chetan Suryavanshi said later that he had shed tears only once on the cricket field before this day. And this victory definitely brought tears to not only his eyes but also to the other players and team officials of Singapore.

For the statistically minded, in the end, Singapore won the game by 27 runs exactly the number of runs it scored as the first innings lead.

Saudara 2007 - Day 2

Captaincy must be a hard job. I can’t say for sure because I have never captained a side. But when you have a reasonably big first innings score and then if the opposition gives you the reply in kind and if the wicket is its flat best, you don’t want to be the bowling side’s captain. But that was where Chaminda was at the end of Day 1.

But the second day morning opened well for Singapore. After a few pokes and strokes here and there, Malaysia committed a triplet of hara-kiris and found themselves staring down the barrel at 87/4. Arun struck twice in a couple of overs by cleaning up Suriya and the danger-man Eszrafiq. At the other end, Dharmi foxed the aggressive Rakesh by bowling him around the legs. From a relative safety at the beginning of the day, Malaysia stuttered into danger zone pretty fast and there was a sense of inevitability around the happenings at that time.

In walked Suresh Navaratnam and along with the limping Anuar, the duo built a rollicking stand of century-plus which was as much entertaining as it was educating. It was entertaining as Suresh and Anuar took the fight to the Singapore star spinner Dharmi by repeatedly carting him over the infield and sometimes out of the ground as well. It was educating, on how one could score runs at a fair clip without ugly slogging. Finally, when Suresh was plumbed by Shoib, Malaysia was in relative safety. Anuar soon followed by playing on and before long Malaysia was tottering at 244/8. But the diminutive keeper from Malaysia – Shafiq, played some audacious paddle sweeps, inside-out cover drives, and along with Darvin ensured that Malaysia ended up just 27 runs short of Singapore.

If Malaysia’s collective batting helped the cause including important contributions from the youngsters, for Singapore, the letdown was the overall lack of teeth in the bowling. The pacemen were plagued by no-balls, the spinners were not too tight and thankfully, there weren’t any important catches dropped!

Definitely, one could sense that the Malaysians were on the high, after almost matching Singapore blow-for-blow in the first outing.

The game plan for Singapore was pretty simple; put enough runs on the board utilizing the 46 overs remaining in Day #2. There were talks about when to declare and what the ideal score before declaration.

Trainer Swee Heng tells – or should I say, repeats ad nauseam, that sports is about repetition. You repeat good things, you perform well. You repeat bad things; you suffer. I don’t think that I am not as articulate as Swee Heng, but dear reader, you would have got the gist. Yes, the bad habits of the first innings repeated for Singapore. Chetan found mid-on with un-erring accuracy after spanking a straight drive that would have cut any limb on its way. Glenn did the gentleman by “walking” after edging a swinging beauty from Krishnamurthy. Sagar, once again flattered to deceive, leaving Singapore in familiar territory.

After some initial jitters against Suresh, Christopher and skipper Chaminda, they settled down nicely to stitch a useful partnership. Chaminda showed glimpses of his class, when he thrashed the danger-man Suresh repeatedly through the covers and hooked his bouncers to chase him out of the attack.

When Chaminda and Christopher were batting, it looked as if batting was the easiest job around. Apart from the single blemish of a dropped catch at point off Suresh, Christopher did enough justice to his talent and scored a brisk half-century. He probably played the shot-of-the match, when he square cut-drove Suresh for a boundary to open his account. The shot was pure poetry in that the ball sped over the lush-green carpet of Kinrara Oval with that sweet swishing sound. And I loved that fluorescent pink grip of his bat!

The introduction of spin from both sides, slowed down proceedings and just when it looked that the pair would bat through the day, the first of the many insanities happened. Two short of his chance-less half-century, Chaminda decided to rush down the wicket to dispatch rolly-polly Eszrafiq to Sri Lanka. But the youngster kept the ball wide and little Shafiq claimed his second dismissal of the innings by effecting the stumping in a flash.

Soon after, Christopher proved his loyalty to his skipper by getting dismissed in exactly the same manner. You might think that cold, flu and other ailments are contagious. But in reality even bad habits are contagious. Go no further than that dismissal for proof of this axiom. This brought the two left-handers: Buddhika Mendis and first-innings hero Munish Arora to the wicket. Munish was obviously nursing a bad back and Singapore was just 170 runs ahead with half the side back in the hut.

With about five overs to go for stumps, Eszrafiq drifted one into Buddhika and bent it away. The natural angle and the spin of the ball, kissed the outer edge of the tentative Buddhika bat en-route to first slip where skipper Rohan Vishnu accepted the catch gleefully.

The day ended tantalizingly balanced with a slight tilt towards Malaysia. Singapore was ahead by about 180+ runs with only four second innings wickets in hand.

Saudara 2007 - Day 1

After winning the toss, Singapore rightly chose to bat on a track that was expected to assist the seamers initially. You know what the great WG Grace said, “If you win the toss, think long and hard and elect to bat!” But Chaminda did not think long to make the decision and chose to make first use of the wicket.

Malaysia’s start was superb; Suresh Navaratnam, the Associate Nations’ Michael Holding, got Chetan Suryavanshi for a duck – about two hundred runs less than what he hoped to score for!

What followed was a crazy second over from Anuar; he sprayed the ball like the proverbial lawn sprinkler and gave away 28 runs in the second over and suddenly from 3/1, Singapore’s score jumped to a respectable 31/1!!

But that proved to be a false hope and soon Suresh cleaned up both Glenn Meyer and Chaminda to some real beauties and before long, Sagar Kulkarni followed his skipper after showing glimpses of what he could do.

A little bit of digression is worth here: Before the match, Singapore’s coach Venkataramana mentioned that the only thing that he fears is the complacency from his star-studded team. It would not have been surprising if Venkat was tearing his head apart on seeing some of the strokes paid by his stars.

To cut the long story short, suffice it to say that coupled by some very accurate and intelligent bowling by Suresh Navaratnam and Krishnamurthy, Singapore slipped from trouble to deep trouble and soon found itself in a real deep hole at 134/7 – and the Malaysians had hardly broken into a sweat. Munish Arora who came in at the fall of the third wicket (Chaminda) was holding his end up – he promised that on his way into KL! Arun Vijayan who walked in after Dharmi decided to take an early shower, showed his illustrious predecessors what they failed to do on a wicket that was as flat as a pancake. Oh! I love these clichés!

Slowly the two built on what was in effect the match-winning partnership of 130+ runs.
Munish Arora, who has played under Saurav Ganguly during his stints in rossgolla-land, showed that he is no slouch in off-side strokes when compared to the Prince of Calcutta. Some of the off-side strokes reduced the fielders to be mere spectators and slowly but surely, the partnership got constructed run by run. Fighting a suspect-back, inhibiting heat and humidity and an unrelenting Malaysian attack, Munish guided Arun and the Singapore team to relative safety.

Arun’s batting was a revelation. He started out with a couple of slog sweeps and then settled to some sensible batting. After he got his first half-century in Saudara Cup – and second for Singapore – he played a delightful reverse-sweep which brought oohs and aahs from the few onlookers! But that stroke proved to be his downfall as well.

In the mean time, Munish showed the spectators why he is the “Steve Waugh” for Singapore by scoring a century which is definitely worth the weight in gold. May be his own weight J
With some last minute calculated slog, Singapore ended their quota of 75 overs at 304/8 – believe me, they would have been satisfied with 200! Come to think of it, Munish’s suspect back was the backbone of the Singapore innings and no pun intended!

I think the coach was right; Singapore was complacent; each batsman thinking that the next man would do the job. The young Malaysian team spearheaded by the experienced Suresh Navaratnam almost made the Singapore faces as red as their caps – but, a big but, for the superb innings by the man from Punjab. If only they had held their catches…well, if only pigs could fly…

Malaysia 1st Innings:

Satu! Satu! That was the mantra of the Malaysia innings. The experienced Rakesh Madhavan and the man-of-the-match of Carl Schubert Trophy 2006, Suhan Kumar started their innings sedately. With a judicious mixture of aggressive running between the wickets and attacking strokes and tight defence, they built the partnership to a worrying proportion for the Singapore team.

Chaminda tried various combinations. He tried Arun, Shoib, Dharmi, Jackie, Buddhika; brought himself on. All to no avail. His plan was simple; he wanted the batsmen not to get settled against any of his bowlers; but what really happened was that the bowlers were not settling down to any line or length or batsman!

After whacking Dharmi for a good sixer to the cow’s corner, Suhan gave the break-through that the Temasek boys wanted by playing a bit too early and gave a relieved-Chaminda a catch at mid-wicket. Still Malaysia ended the day under relative safety after having lost only one wicket in reply to the strong score from Singapore.

A big T H A N K Y O U !!!

It was a big disservice to the great game when the finals was robbed off by more than 25% of the game because of weather. Then what was the reserve day for?

Is it too much to ask to have some foresight to ensure that the games can be carried forward to the next day to make it a full game of 50 overs each instead of one day slam-bang?

(But to associate foresight and ICC, I must be associating Wolfowitz with ethics!)

The umpires definitely goofed up. Rudi is being offered as the sacrificial lamb at the altar by Crowe. 20 overs is all it takes to call the game and we instruct all tyros about that all the time!

In truth, the happenings in the dark at Kensington oval yesterday was truly the icing on the cake for the most bumbling, administratively painful, least imaginative and probably least-followed world event of any sports. India and Pakistan did not help matters when they were dissociated by the future pretenders much early in the day.

But true cricket fans like you and me, persisted. Watched the game unto unGodly hours; put our backsides on the line with guesses and what not? Hopefully the following list was good enough to whet our appetite:

• Woolmer's untimely demise through poisoning, strangling and Pakistani in-fighting
• Ireland's chicken & ferret dance celebrations; thanks Johnston and Smith...
• Gibbs' million dollar charity event of six-sixes-in-six
• Greg Chappell saying that you can't blame anybody for the Indian debacle!
• Malinga's four-in-four against SA
• Google's April 1st Joke
• Ravi Bopara can become the next big English hope
• Slow-left-arm-spin trio from Bangladesh
• Lara's Powerplay goof-up against South Africa (77 runs in five overs!)
• Exit of Lara, McGrath, Arnold and quite a few others who would announce their retirements sooner than later
• Mahela's strut and that classic innings against the Kiwis
• The gulf between Australia and rest of the world *****

The list can go on for some more...

Sometime back FIDE (that is the ICC equivalent for Chess; almost as inept as ICC) did this for determining the world chess champion. The current winner will wait for a qualifying tournament to throw the challenger to face him. Then he gets to play the challenger and the new champion will thus be crowned.

We can do something similar to that in cricket as well.

Call for a championship without Australia. The winner will be called World Challenger Champion. Then the World Challenger Champion will face Australia in a best-of-three to decide the World Champion.

Simple. Less number of once-sided games. All of Australia's 11 games in WC2k7 have been grossly one-sided. (I have a suspicion that it was the same in WC2K3 as well. Lazy to go and do the checking...) Add the Ireland and Bangladesh games, it was excruciating.

As Kent rightly reminded me of the BeeGees lyrics, all the pretenders had was only one thing: WORDS!
"It's only words, and words are all I have, (to take your heart away . . .)"
But the Aussies had the deeds and they are rightly the hat-trick champions.

More about those commentary box comedians later.

Before I sign-off...

A big thanks to all of you readers, participants, contributors and the family for making this exercise an enjoyable one. For those who know me, getting me to be punctual is an achievement in itself. So, all credit goes to you all for your interest was the one that drove me.

Your feedback & comments are welcome [Pls use the comments feature in the blog itself; email also can]

Until the next one...