Remote Killing

After what seemed to be like a million noisy days and nights in the so-called condominium, we finally shifted home – or should I say shifted boxes – to the friendly neighborhood: HDB heartland.

Well, this post is not about house shifting or any such mundane activities. Yeah, right! Mundane, my foot! What with about 100 boxes and three round-trips of the truck and a tipsy bribe to the movers (he, he! The wine bottles were just lying there and decided to be generous :-), the move was anything but mundane. Exciting to say the least.

The marathon exercise started at around an un-Godly hour of 9 in the morning and ended at around seven in the evening.

Like a true warrior, yours truly, went about fixing the cable TV (cannot live without IPL!) and the cable modem (How can I do my Macbeth assignment without computer and internet?). And success it was, on the first attempt.

TV connected to power mains?
Check.
Cable Set-top box connected to power mains?
Check.
Cables snaked to different slots?
Check.
Power on?
Check.
Correct channel on?
Eeee… it is Sun TV. Where is IPL?
Where is the remote?

‘Patta! Where is the remote?’

Dear lady was fixing the gas stove and other such stupid things just to ensure that the next day’s food would be available! What impertinence? Is the gas stove more important than the TV remote?

Acid levels in the tummy increase manifold. Decibel levels multiply (it is logarithmic, you see!). Whining starts. Frantic search ensues. Boxes being torn open.

‘Did you pack it in one of the living room boxes?’
‘I remember putting it in the box along with the CDs and cassettes.’
‘Appa, I want to watch Kathu Karuppu!’
‘If you don’t mind, can we watch the news?’
‘I am hungry and angry’

Mood swing was uni-directional almost akin to the US dollar rate against all-comers.

It took at least 25 boxes to be opened before…
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we gave up and reconciled to the drudgery that was (is?) being served by Maaran brothers in the name of entertainment. But then WYSIWYG – a slight change to the classic computer acronym – What You Sow Is What You Get ;-)

In the mean time, telephone calls were being made to the cable TV company to get a new remote delivered (‘Dad! It is only 20 dollars if we go and get it tomorrow morning first thing, else it is 30 dollars for delivery you know. I think we have a good deal to go and collect it!’)

After having spent so much on the new house, 20 (or thirty for that matter) seemed to be a pittance, but then all ye middle-class Madhavans, fret not! I did not succumb to the pressures of Gen-Z and stood my ground.

We shall overcome the tyranny of the remote by searching for it in the remaining 75 boxes. If we don’t find it in the next one week, then we shall search the next week and so on.

The mind definitely willed. But the flesh is weakening by the hour…So...
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Do you happen to have a spare cable TV remote? I will return it as soon as I trace it in one of the remaining cartons...No, no! I am not shaking. It is just the damn air-conditioner temparature setting, I think... What? The air-conditioner is not on?
Let it be... Do you happen to have a spare cable TV remote?