Lankans 6-6-6ed!

Imagine what would have happened if:

Sri Lanka had won the toss or the temperature was 6 degrees
warmer or the lateral movement 6 inches lesser or the bounce 6 inches shorter or 6 of their batsmen played some sensible shots instead of getting out...

Instead what we have got is an English victory - well deserved though; but can't take the English press. They will now write about how:

* they will take revenge on Australia in the semis and on South Africa in the Finals. They will also write how great a captain is Strauss (Indeed he is, played to the true spirit of the game by recalling Matthews - and I think Matthews was pulling a fast one by claiming obstruction by Onions)

* how great a job that the selectors did by selecting Eoin Morgan inspite of him being Irish

* how great a bowler Anderson has become...

Aaaawwwww....

Murali bowled like a club bowler and Bhargav has been maintaining that Mendis is another Collingwood (Just look out for the carrom ball and you are safe!)

Now for the sans-Google trivia quiz:

Answer to yesterday's question:
The five letter word is Yahoo. (Swift = Jonathan Swift who wrote Gulliver's Travels with its many characters - one of them being Yahoos; of course Jerry Yang liked it to name his company thus!)

Less tougher than the MSG - Yet only Yadavalli & Suryanshu got it right. Good show, guys!

Now for today's question:

An easy one:

• Steve Jobs wanted IPOD to stand for "Internet Pod"; but all those greedy bankers have made IPOD stand for....?

Answers & guesses via the usual route. Have fun.

SA wins New Zealand, (:| (:| (:|

Thanks for those who sent in the 100th blog wishes. You can always leave your views and feedback in the comments. Of course, the guesses and answers to the emails.

One additional reminder: Please stick to the margins published earlier. Do not invent your own margins. Then I will have to approximate on what you have given me.

It was a simple game between the hosts and the kiwis.


Almost akin to the Pakis thrashing the hapless Windies last night. Yesterday, I was actually torn between two emotions: Happy, because the Pakistanis were showing no signs of controlling the self-destruction mentality & Sad, because that the Windies had at least two bowlers who can spell danger for the Indians - Tonge and Best :-()


The Kiwis pretended well - to fly. But then they are flightless and in the end Parnell bought his wickets well, I thought.


Otherwise, the Proteas are still rusty. But one could hear the sweet music of the engine for a bit longer than what it was in the first game.


Coming to the pool, today is the first occasion that four people have got the maximum points (9) by guess all the five categories correct. Looks like it is becoming easy, eh ;-) Congratulations, guys.

Now for the sans-Google trivia quiz:

Answer to yesterday's question:

The substance that has that devilish molecular formula is...

• Not Proteins, Not Ammonia, Not Water, Not Caustic Soda... but MSG - Mono-sodium Glutamate, the famous additive.

Seems to be a tough one - only Yadavalli got it right. Great show, mate! It is tough to get a google search organized based on a picture. So a true effort!

Now for today's question (courtesy Bhargav):

Crossword Clue (5 letters):

• A Swift Character That Yang Likes

Answers & guesses via the usual route. Have fun.

PS: (: l is the emoticon for yaaawwwnnn!

WInded in the wrong direction!!

Every ICC event turns out a dud. This time it is the West Indies 'B' team. How can you explain the ICC spending millions on all kinds of countries including Zimbabwe and turn a blind eye towards two-times World Champions and former Champions Trophy winner!! Oh, that is their internal problem and we do not want to influence that... fat chance that cricket will survive in the Windies &*^(*&)($%#

Well! Paksitan tried its level best to make life interesting; but even they could not manage to lose it...

Yet another sibling combination to the cricketing world. Kamran Akmal and Umar Akmal. They look so much alike that at 1 in the morning when 'chotu' Akmal walked in to bat after born-again-Yousuf was unfairly given out, I was pretty much sure that the elder brother Kamran walked in to play his second innings. One's mind was riddled by questions like, "Has Sachin's proposal been accepted? I know that Sachin is God in cricketing matters; but even God has His limitations in moving the behemoth aka ICC. etc etc.." But then better sense prevailed after they showed Umar's stats card.

One thing is for sure: Whether Lahore has good dentists or not, the one that the Akmals visit must be an awfully incompetent one :-))

Did you know that before today, Tonge has taken a grand total of ZERO wickets in ODIs? And today, he opened them up with an honest list of four. And for the wicketkeeper Walton, a good harvest in his debut match.

The pool participation has increased. Good. Good.
A number of you got it right.

On that basis Anand Re starts the account - funny he finished on a winning note on WC07 pool... luck runs even after 2.5 years :-)

Now for the sans-Google trivia quiz:

Answer to yesterday's question:

• The logo belongs to United Nations Organization (and not UNICEF as some of the friends wanted us to believe!) .

Seems to be an easy one - Amar, Polap, Anand Re, Chets, Ishan, Pradeip, Yadavalli (he was feeling bad that he had an undue advantage due to his multiple visits to Geneva :-()) Congratulations to all.

Now for today's question:

• To which well-known substance does this molecular formula belong to?

Answers & guesses via the usual route. Have fun.

PS: Oh, by the way, this is my 100th English blog entry. My humble contribution to the World's boredom :-) Thanks for all the patronage.

'DIL'led and 'DISC'ed!!

Cricket is a confidence game - in fact Life is.

How else can you explain Thilan Samaraveera, the emerging test player, playing a 'Dilscoop' off Parnell ?(the young man had a rude awakening anyways)

South Africa have to do much more than indulging in verbal boasts to keep their 'chokers' tag intact, leave alone shedding it. (Yeah, you can only keep the tag if you go to semis at least!)

If Dilshan cleaned them up in the sun, then it was the bowlers' discipline - a total of 2 wides & the first one came after two thirds of the SA innings was over!!! - that sealed the game in my opinion - leave Mendis' triple strikes, by then the SAfs were playing like zombies.

Comfortable & emphatic win.

Good start to the pool.

The points distribution is as follows:

Winning team guess: 2 points

Winning margin guess: 5 points

First Wicket: 1 point

Sixers: 1 point

Total: 9 points max.

- You get winning margin points only if you get the winning team right.

- First wicket and Sixers are independent.

- So, in a rare case, if you guess the winning team right and nobody has got the winning margin right and if somebody who got the winning team wrong, but got the first wicket and sixers right, then both you and that somebody will be declared winners as both of you have scored 2 points. Clear as mud?

On that basis Anand Re starts the account - funny he finished on a winning note on WC07 pool... luck runs even after 2.5 years :-)

Now for the sans-Google trivia quiz:

Answer to yesterday's question:

• The cartoon character is SMURF and its link to banking can be found here.

Congratulations to Amar, for cracking this. He was our sole right-answer guy today.

Now for today's question:

• The picture below is one jig-saw that belongs to the logo of an entity/company. Which one are we talking about?

CCT09 - Sans Google Trivia - Question #1

Okaaay... Here we go...

What does this blue, smilax eating cartoon character got to do with banking?

Answers to the normal email address...

Plans open for the first game: South Africa vs Sri Lanka

Champions Trophy 2009 - Pool is Back!!!

Ok, here we go on the simple rules:

1. There are five things that you need to respond for each game:

Winning team, Winning Run Margin, Winning Wicket Margin, Mode of First Dismissal, Number of Sixers in the match

2. Please send in all your entries by 8pm SGT to lnspatta@gmail.com
3. Please ensure that you give both the winning ranges: run-margin & wicket-margin
4. Please do not invent your own margins; stick to the published ranges shown below
5. If you are using Excel to track your guesses, when you cut-and-paste, please use Rich Text for pasting; the PCX format is painful from gmail.


Run Margin Ranges:

Between 1 to 50 runs (both inclusive)
Between 51 to 100 runs (both inclusive)
Between 101 to 150 runs (both inclusive)
Above 151 runs (151 and Infinity inclusive)

Wicket Margin Ranges:

By 1 to 3 wickets (both inclusive)
By 4 to 5 wickets (both inclusive)
By 6 to 8 wickets (both inclusive)
By 9 to 10 wickets (both inclusive)

Mode of first dismissal of the MATCH:

Bowled
Timed Out
Caught
Handled the ball
Hitting the ball twice
Hit Wicket
Leg Before Wicket
Obstructing the field
Run Out
Stumped
None of the above

Number of Sixers (no lah! Not DLF Maximums!!) in the MATCH:

0-3 (both inclusive)
4-6 (both inclusive)
7-9 (both inclusive)
10++

Kandasamy - Cock and Bull!!

Have you read the prequel to this? And the Tamil Review?

Now that you well and truly want the K review, here we go.

Man! I have never had an experience, as 'interesting' as watching Kandasamy.

('Interesting' is an euphemism that the Russians usually use to describe anything that is screwy)

Otherwise, How can you explain watching a movie that has

* Batman (all those logical contraptions)
* Phantom (the spear tattoo on the victim's faces)
* Bourne-series (nifty - no, not NIFTY! this is an English word - use of computers to transact billions)
* Shakira music video (Allegra! rocks...)
* Numerous Kung Fu movies which extol the virtues of blind-fold fighting
* Robinhood (Prince of thieves, not Men in tights ;-)
* Sivaji (the numbers are much bigger here! Depending on who you ask, it goes from 30000 cr to 125 Lakh cr ....)
* RamaNa (there it was the college; here it is the high-school; next movie will tap kindergarten - remember Aegan's review?)


Story: CBI Officer Vikram robs the rich to help 300,000 families masquerading as a Cock (hmmm). He plays cat and mouse love game with Shreya when not acting as the bull in the china shop hammering away the untold riches of the baddies. As the Russkies say, 'Interesting'.

Vikram: A cool dude performance. Has slogged butt and looks dashing. Even sings well...And I want that mask!
Shreya: The Allegra girl has probably done her best role to-date. The hairdo, voice (dubbed of course! Suchitra?), skimy outfits everything oozes with attitude with a capital A!
Music: DSP's tunes will rule the FM world until Enthiran. All songs are Item numbers. Period. (If it is not Shreya, it is Mumaith!) - Can he stop referring himself as DSP? It is opening the painful scars of the Digital Signal Processing examination in 8th Semester :-
Editing: Quite cool. Lots of jump cuts; fast and slow at the same time. Inspite of that, the movie is long :-(
Cinematography: Hard-hitting; Different and desperate colours combinations in Chennai, Mexico, songs... good show Ekambaram!!!

Now for some awards:

Highest Small Scale Industry Impact Award (HSSIIA): All the Robinhood money is being delivered in the black plastic bags. So, this award goes to the producer - for getting all those plastic bags and ensuring that at least one small scale industry thrived! But the police missed a trick there, I feel. If Vikram & Co. deliver the money in those bags to the 300,000 families - that is a bulk order of bags, mate! To paraphrase the immortal line from that movie "All the President's Men" - "Follow the Bags!"

Cultrual High Imagination Medallion (CHIM): To Director Susi Ganeshan for making the 'Symbol of Tamilnadu' Mukesh Tiwari to do a pole dance. Wow! Heard that this movie is going to be dubbed into English, Italian, Spanish etc.. They will love that portion in San Francisco... Don't bend to pick up a dropped quarter in 'Frisco, they say!

Hollywood Or Kollywood Award (HOKA): Jointly shared by the Editor, Cinematographer and Production Designer The graphics and gadgets are very believable and enjoyable. Key stroke tracker; signature lifter - Super! You even have the mandatory iphone email floating around!! Very seamless and unobtrusive. Hollywoodish... (Have to find out which company did the software... May be they have an opening...)

Pizza Rules Cross (PRC): Have to find out who wrote that 'Dupe' song. The guy puts all those 'yucky rural food' down and says that Pizzas are the tops!! Aye, Aye, Sir! (Found out: Viveka; he even jams one part of the song.)

Piercing Pin Puraskar(PPP): To Mumaith. That is a very interesting place to have a piercing...oooooh! LoL!!

Alt-I Reward (AIR): To Vadivel. Heard that his entire piece is an insert in the movie, as an after-thought. The guy brings down the theatre – with all of its 70 people, on many occasions. Pandi knocked his head on the seat in front while laughing out loud, ouch! I could not understand many a thing that the guy blabbers. But may be my Judgement is Wrong ;-))

Overall: A good Hollywood-ish Movie + 7 songs + 20 minutes of Vadivel Inserts... Well, I will enjoy the 2nd time as well...

Kandasamy in Geneva - A Prequel

Kandasamy English review (from a city-bred pseud's perspective)
Kandasamy Tamil review (from Pandi's perspective) – Coming up tomorrow…

So, VeSa calls me on Friday and says, 'We shall go to the open air market in France on Sunday.'

Immediately, I go like, 'But isn't that the santhai of our glorious land?'


He then goes like, 'Yeah! But you only wanted to go somewhere! And I can suggest only this place. It is good. You might even be able to buy some cheap shoes, now that your pair has given way...'


Talk about aggression and you can't leave out VeSa from that discussion :-)

Then on Saturday, after I have promptly lost the hard-earned-money-bought-sun-glasses, VeSa calls once again. 'The open air market is closed this Sunday. So we can't go there'.


No, he doesn't have to apologise for that. Then five minutes later, he calls again.


'By the way, Kandasamy is being screened tomorrow at a cinema near your hotel. It is at 10.30. I will pick you up at 9.30.'


No, I don't have a choice to say no there. Thou shall be informed and thou shall conformeth (?). Refreshing attitude. But then if you implement Tnn, then you will have acquired that approach, I think.

Anyway, on Sunday, wake up at 8.45. Light breakfast - water and fruits. (yeah, right!) Get ready by 9.30. Hot sun. 10 minutes walk to the cinema. Pay 20 swissies. Pandi was there and so were a couple of other friends - one of them an ardent Sai devotee & the other a marathi-from-madurai--who-can-talk-Tamil. Motley crowd.

After some suspenseful moments amongst the total of ten people at the cinema entrance, one person suddenly opens the car boot and brings out these two huge 3-feet diameter fill rolls and voila! I see a film roll after ages - Nostalgia, Vellore. Vellore to Geneva - really long journey!!

But whatever happened to the movie on the hard-disk or DVD or blue-ray, which many of the guys averred is the defacto standard at Sathyam in Chennai?

We troop into the smelly cinema - you get used to that, anyway. And slowly the crowd builds up.

At around 10.00 the music starts - yes, you guessed it. 'Daddy Mummy.." from Villu and the playlist is quite contemporary.

Around 70 people trickle in. The movie starts at 10.45.

You expect the standard high standard on the audio and video fronts in most of the cinemas. This theatre does not disappoint much. An interval happens after what seems like an entire movie length and then there is only one Coke-vending machine. One is hungry and one surfs the neighbourhood for some snack joint. Sorry! Nothing doing. This is Europe and nothing works on Sunday. Funny and thank the Lord, that you are able to watch a movie!

Rush back to the cinema. Miss the first few minutes. Oh, shit! Loss of 20 centimes!

After another movie length duration, troop out of the movie into the hotter, brighter and blinding sun!! (Remember the lost sunglasses! Aaargh!)

Pandi is all agog. VeSa and Marathi are cribbing about a few things. Sai devotee is smiling non-comittally (What can he do? Mother Tongue is Telugu; Brought up in Rourkela and Mumbai. He was hoping for sub-titles - but then you do not need sub-titles for many movies - definitely not for Kandasamy!!)

Trudge along to India Plaza and have lunch - trying to dissect the movie as if we are intellectuals. Futile.

Call home and inform the news. Promptly get cut. Capital J.

Have to watch the movie again in Singapore.

Hmmm.. What to do, we are like that only! Mind It!!!

PS: The pictures just happened. Lord Murugan is supposed to be around wherever there are hills and mountains... So He is on top of the Geneva mountains as well :-)

Will two negatives make a positive?

In a true blogger's tradition, here is a post with a number of links...

As I have said elsewhere in my blog, I like Charu Nivedita's writing.

Recently, he wrote an article on Times of India about his take on 'how to live?' - and his angst towards today's youth's inability to do many basic things etc.

I am sure there were hundreds of rebuttals to that article - as it indirectly touched on the species of IT & BPO 'coolies' (watch out, that is my word!).

Firstly there was the rebuttal from Narsim (a very good blogger with a fabulous gift towards de-mystifying the Tamil Classics). Narsim had to stop the comments section for the relevant post in his blog!!! Such was the passion...

Then there was the rebut-the-rebuttal by Luckylook.

In the mean time, I had written my feedback - can't call it a rebuttal, you see...

Enjoy.

PS: The link to the Tamil translation of Life's Tsunamis seem to be not working; better still you can buy that book at http://www.uyirmmai.com/

Where art thou, iPhone?

Came across this cracker of a blog entry forwarded by one of the friends.

http://happywaffle.livejournal.com/5890.html

Hearken, all ye Luddites!

The Geek Shall Rule the World!!!

Just (Don't) Do It!!

A bit late though, but can't pass this up...

It is the story of one ego-centric multi-millionaire basketball player twisting the arms of an equally eager-to-please Nike to protect the Lebron James franchise!!

Lebron James was dunked by Jordan Crawford.
Jordan who? And, what is the big deal, you ask.

For those people who eat&live&breath&sleep cricket, it is akin to Sachin Tendulkar being clean bowled by.... hmmmm.. let me think of who it could be ... yeah, right, ME!

Practice game or net practice, indoor or outdoor, gully cricket or tennis ball - it simply does not matter. Sachin is bowled by me!

It is how big it is, for the basketball fans.

But that is not the problem.

The big and mighty fall off their lofty pedastals all the time. How they get up and dust off is what that matters. Well, a Sachin would have gone on to pummel me to Johor Bahru every other time I manage to get the ball within his vicinity and that will be that! (Thank God, this is only a conjecture!)

But dear Lebron (and Nike, his proud sponsor), did just the opposite.

You see, what happened was as follows:

Lebron runs a Basketball skills academy where young wannabes line up to get trained by, and with, the big man.

This gets recorded - for obvious reasons - advertisement, talent identification etc. etc..

But in one of the rare moments of history, Lebron gets dunked by Jordan Crawford (probably his parents named him after Michael Jordan :-). Jordan is practically a nobody and it would have galled Lebron to have been 'insulted' that way.

How dare you insult me? All recordings shall be confiscated
and destroyed immediately!! Now, I want it now, maan! Nike, like a true puppet agreed to the embargo and promptly invited the wrath of one and all!

What were they smoking?

If Lebron had immediately joked about the whole incident and congratulated the youngster (may be give him a pair of court-side tickets for next year's Cavaliers games), he would have increased in stature manifold.

If Nike had worked with Lebron and come up with a fabulous advertisement campaign featuring Jordan Crawford to further their 'Just Do It' campaign, then I would have gone and bought another Nike pair.

Well, if pigs can fly...

M ko kyon gussa aata hai?

(Why does M get angry?)

M is normally a very amiable person who always goes out of his way to make people comfortable. Such are the idiosyncrasies of our Maker, that He has decided to try M’s patience by doing the following things:

a. Thou shall get out of your comfort zone of Zurich and go to Chennai, India at least once a month – sometimes thrice!
b. Thine flights will always be changed in the last minute
c. Thine luggage will always arrive at Chennai few hours before you leave that great city
d. Thou shall travel by Air France as much as possible
e. To compensate, thou shall be blessed with Taj Coromandel stay in Chennai

If M is still going to go to Chennai next week, it is purely due to the fact that Jet Airways has good “Shah Rukh Khan” movies to complement the Dom Perignon!!
Truly inquisitive to know how India ended up like this, he decided to refer to history and has taken to reading the history of the region and often comes up with such questions as: “What happened to Sarat Chandra Bose, the brother of Subhash Chandra Bose?” Now, we are not even sure what happened to Subhash, let alone his brother Sarat… Digressing, as usual…

This post is to show-case M’s sudden philosophical approach towards life in general and towards Air France in particular, after a particularly memorable experience in February this year.

Sit back and enjoy…

Air France - Global Disaster in Progress: Episode IV - Paris

Against general practice, Air France seems to indulge in loading the economy section of its planes through one aisle only, which allows the staff to prolong the enjoyable close customer contact during boarding for an extended period. Business Class passengers (éspace d'affaires) can board the plane whenever they want to, meaning that they can join the economy passengers in their quest to get through the single boarding door into the single boarding aisle. Of course, this provides ample time to reflect why Air France calls its economy class "TEMPO".

The èspace d'affaires seat complies to the standard un-comfortableness of a Lufthansa seat for short passengers. You can't stretch your legs but at least you can't exert any lateral pressure on your knees because your calves and feet are nicely boxed in. Since the toilet lights are controlled by a random status generator, you have endless opportunities to wonder if "red" means someone is using the toilet or not. The same, of course, applies to "green".

Today the standard Air France delay is forty-five minutes for all planes; which means that I would have caught my connecting flight to Zurich since it adhered to the standard delay.

Unfortunately the Air France check-in lady in Chennai divined from her crystal ball, that I would not catch the regular Zurich flight and booked me on the later one.

The Frenchman at the CDG transit desk refused to rebook me on the earlier flight telling me that my luggage would not make it. I told him I didn't care and that Air France could deliver the luggage to my home. He refused that, too. I managed to enter the fast-track lane through security and successfully reached the gate for the earlier flight. There I was refused entry for security reasons because my luggage was on the other plane. I told the lady that thanks to Air France losing my luggage, I had been a security risk on the whole first leg of my trip. This didn't impress her.

What remains is a report on the lounge: the croissants are alright, but the "point informatique" is the only corner of the lounge where there is no WLAN reception.

Now the sun is shining down on the vehicles of the "bagages equipages", and I am getting mentally ready to fill out the next "missing luggage" form in Zurich.

Air France - Global Disaster in Progress: Episode V - A.W.O.L.

Let us continue our discussion with airline information systems: in Chennai, my Air France flight was labeled as "à l'heure / on-time" until the bitter end, first at 2:35 AM, then at 3:00 AM. Take-off was at 3:40 AM. "On-time / à l'heure" thus seems to be an Air France synonym for "sometime".

Here at CDG, my flight to Zurich is displayed everywhere as 1305 a l'heure. At 1230, at the gate I wanted to board but was told that the plane had two hours delay. There is no snow outside, only sunshine, so it can't be the weather. Back at the lounge, a friendly lady told me that they couldn't find a crew for the plane. Down at the gate they had told me "delayed incoming plane" - apparently the air traffic control had only realized the plane was missing as boarding was supposed to start

Thus I am again sitting in the lounge, contemplating what the Air France crew that is absent without leave might be doing on a sunny afternoon in Paris.

And the screen still says "1305 AF5104 Zurich à l'heure"


Heard that M will be conferred with the Legion d’honor (or whatever the French try to bribe people with!) in the this year’s Bastille day….provided he flies Air France to Paris!!! M politely refused the honour citing project commitment – after all 14th July is just one day after our go-live!!!

41 x 49: HNY!!

(c) Cartoonstock.com

In the season of lists and wishes, here is one more....
In 2009, we hope to have the following:

10 months of stock market increases (just stay flat during the remaining two, will you?)
9 more test centuries by Sachin Tendulkar to make it a round 50 (it is cricket, dear Watson!)
8 good habits to lead a healthy and peaceful life (one habit is enough: For Men - Listen to your wife! For Women - Tell him what to do!)
7 lucky numbers to win the Chinese New Year Toto (drool, drool...)
6 healthy ways to show the doctor the door (simple: Cut the intake!)
5 tough filters to reduce spams to zero (they should not filter this message, he he!)
4 pit-side tickets to the Singapore F1 (lightening of purse not required!)
3 gripping hours of Harry Potter magic (half blood or full blood - oh! what a tongue twister :-)
2 viable alternatives to coal and oil (is the sun not enough? Wear the research hats please!)
1 strong president to run the world's largest debtor (chaaannggeee!)
0 bank crashes! (Hail Bail!)

Have a happy, healthy and peaceful 2009 !!
SriBees

PS: Did you know that 2009 is the Year of Astronomy and also the Year of Natural Fibers?

The HNY message in Tamil is here.

Stock Split :-()

Decided to move the Tamil entries to a new blog.

Here on, the vernacular will be published at:

http://tamilsribees.blogspot.com/ entitled தேனீக்களின் ரா ரா...

Fret not; respective links will be available in the side bar :-)

Have fun.

7th Anniversary: Emotional Travails of a WTC Disaster Witness/Victim

Seven years ago... the world changed for ever.
Was very close to the epicentre of the change and one feels the impact even today.
Here is something that I wrote after about a week of 'The' 9/11.

*****

I was sad that so many years of toil and efforts have gone waste into a 100 feet rubble.
I was sad that so many lives were lost in (and due to) those four swift dastardly darts.
I was sad that there will be so many people including yours-truly, saying "I thought so!" about the security or lack of, in the US airports.
I was sad that New York's sky line has been punctured.
I was sad to see and hear that hate-crime has caught up in America as well.
I was sad that Osama Bin Laden has gotten away for the umpteenth time by inflicting serious wounds on the world.
I was sad to see the Palestinian kids and adults alike, jumping with joy on hearing the news.
I was sad to see Nostradamus 'predictions' flooding my email box about the disaster.
I was sad to note that US had to pay the price for fostering terrorism in the middle-east just because it could not change its policy.
I was sad that my passport, ticket and baggage got lost in the hotel that was 50 yards away from the WTC.

I was happy to see the never-say-die-spirit of the New Yorkers.
I was happy to see the endless queues of people donating blood.
I was happy to see Mayor Guiliani facing the tragedy like a true-braveheart, inspite of his ailment.
I was happy to see the world rallying behind the US in combatting terrorism.
I was happy to see a possibility of a reduction, if not the complete eradication, of the cross-border terrorism in Kashmir.
I was happy to see the Indian Consul General in New York being compassionate & efficient enough to issue new passports in a jiffy.
I was happy to be with friends during this period, so that we could lean on each other.
I was happy to have met those nice people in Bridgewater without whom I would have gone around like a chicken without head.
I was happy to have boarded my Singapore Airlines flight after some ten hours of travel, wait and security checks.

I laughed when Iran said that the act could only have been carried out by a "Zionist organization".
I laughed when the police officer in 19th precinct of NY, profiled us as "American Indian"
I laughed when the taxi driver from Penn Station thought that we were "Pakistanis".
I laughed when EMC said that 25 companies' data is intact inspite of the crash, because they chose EMC!
I laughed when Jayant, our hosts' six year old kid, wanted to play "Rock, Scissors, Paper, Show" I laughed when Aishu wanted me to get her Barney dolls from the US
I laughed when Patta asked me to swim across the Atlantic or Pacific to reach home. Forgive her, she is geographically challenged!
I laughed at the stupidity of a fellow passenger when the security personnel at JFK found a mini-box-cutter in his hand baggage. Duh!
I laughed when Mahesh, our dear host in Bridgewater, described the female-preying-mantle as a "Straight Bitch!"

I am nostalgic about the Windows on the World.
I am nostalgic about the Penny Rolls in the Observation Tower.
I am nostalgic about the giddy elevator ride to the top.
I am nostalgic when I see those great photographs that happened during that visit five years ago.

I felt lucky, that we did not have the meetings on Tower 1, 55th floor on that fateful day.
I felt lucky, that we decided to start the meetings at 8:30 am at Harborside rather than at 9:00 am.
I felt lucky, that I had my credit cards with which I could try the cash therapy out. (Bless that lady's soul, who turned in my wallet to the lost+found section in Fremont Mall, on 8th Sep!)
I felt lucky, that I had my mobile phone to contact people.
I felt lucky, that I was alive at that moment.

Yes, I watched the two towers collapse, from across the river. Was I feeling terrified at that time? No, I only felt lucky.

But I did feel terrified: On Sep 13 2001, Thursday. When the first reports of the hate-crime started pouring in. What do I do in front of a mob? This is America. The land of guns! Will I make it safe, if confronted by a few mis-directed gun-wielding American youth? No way! That was and still is, the more terrifying part. That is Osama's victory. West versus anybody who is deemed to be non-west!

I still get up at odd hours in the morning. I am not able to sleep for more than four hours at a stretch. I am NOT being haunted by any nightmares. But I still see those hi-tech circles that showed people jumping off the towers after the impact. And I did not "new pinch" G for wearing a new pair of trousers. They say that I am traumatised. I don't know.

*****

Forget the movies, guys!

Go get a DVD of the Beijing Olympics Opening Ceremony.

This is THE opening ceremony that you can be proud of, just for watching it!

London! You have the un-enviable task of just matching what happened today, leave alone bettering it!

The culture, colour, concept... it was simply breath-taking.

I do not want to use any more superlatives on this most positive event that I have witnessed. (Oops, could not help it!)

The OC showed what China, or rather FOCUS, can do. It showed a China which is so eager to show the world what it is capable of; how stereo-typed the world's view has been on China...

Now don't even start on all the things about human rights, righteousness etc. There is only one pope in this world and everybody else only preaches! Bush wants Indians to go hungry, Clinton says that India & China are cleaning up the natural resources and polluting like nobody's business, the whole of Europe is condescending towards Asia - and then Rajnikanth eats his words in public just for a few rupees of profit from a lousy movie... aargh!

Bertie: Jeeves, what is the word that has a hippo in it, that means that one does not practice what one preaches?
Jeeves: Hypocritical, Sir?
Bertie: Ho, hum! Jeeves.

Just go out and enjoy the spectacle that China has arranged for you.

Tail-piece: Li Ning's trapeze act to light the Olympic flame was as imaginative as all the other parts of the OC. But still he is only the third best in my list of best flame lighting...

#2 2006 Doha Asiad flame lighted by that great horseman, who climbed so many steep steps mounted on his thoroughbred - the commentator almost had a heart-attack describing that thrilling moment (Arabic is actually a very pleasing language!)

And, the #1 is...

1992 Barcelona Olympics flame lighting, when that intrepid archer lighted the flame with the help of a lighted-arrow accurately shot from his ancient bow! And we as viewers almost had a heart-attack, watching that! (Spanish is probably the most emotive language after Italian and Telugu!)

Phew!!!

Have not seen...

...Kuselan and hence no reviews yet.

Thanks for all those who were looking forward to the review.
Comments ranged from "I am disappointed with your blog; where is the review?" to "We have decided to wait for your review before watching the movie"... Touched folks...

டேய்! அடங்குடா! ரொம்ப ஃபிலிமாக இருக்கு!

Having said all these, hope to watch it this weekend...
Until then...

Legs or not...

Read this post a few minutes back...

Naresh in Google

Definitely impressive. Chicken soup to the soul in the morning :-)

'When one door closes, God opens another door somewhere else!'

Cynics will always say that he would not have reached this far, if he did not have the problems that he faced.

But then what are cynics for - to make you think 'zara hatke', perhaps?

Would the following have happened, if he was normal?

(a) JC waiving his fees off
(b) Hospital taking care of his college fees
(c) Sundar paying his hostel fees
(d) Institute providing lifts, ramps, powered-wheel-chairs etc.

In his own words, he would have ended up as a farmer in Godavari district! The moral is: It takes some calamity for people to recognize the human inside them. Why wait for that calamity? What is important is the ability to help out under normal circumstances.

No use just to write cheques, only when there is an earthquake or a typhoon or what not. That is what we call as 'band-aid patch' in software parlance. The root cause has not been addressed (another software jargon). It is easy to give money and apply Tiger Balm to the tattered soul.

Ask yourself: Do you have the 'help-under-normal-circumstances' gene activated in your DNA?

Egg on the Face or வார்த்தை தவறி விட்டாய்...(well almost!)

Now the story of UN did not end with the previous post.

Picking up from the PS of the last one...

G did button-hole the great man. After the initial pleasantry exchanges,

UN: (in English) So, what language do you speak otherwise?

Now you know what Kamal's views are w.r.t. language...

Refer back to the subtle, yet hard-hitting piece in D'ram where Balram Naidu chides Govind about the fact that an Andhraite can talk Tamil but a Thanjavur educated Tamilian prefers to continue speaking in English.

No, this post is NOT about linguistic preferences and the need for us to converse in our mother-tongue. Continuing the dialogue between UN and G...

G: (in English) Well, Tamil is my mother-tongue (semblance of an apologetic tone, perhaps)
UN: Oh... well... D'ram will come out in Hindi shortly (absolute Kamal-speak; usually the man jumps a few steps of logical thought process in his mind and expects others to be in the same plane)
G: (continuing in English) That is good. One small request. Can you please autograph a message for me? I can assure you that I will preserve it, as I admire your works greatly (and all that BS..)
UN: No problems. Where do you want it? (remember Kalaignan?)
G: (produces the work notebook - the usual G'earth one)
UN does a nice half-pager.
G thanks him profusely and withdraws from the scene.

All fine so far.

The only problem is what G did afterwards.

Now he is a great guy with a fantastic IQ and a razor sharp mind. Well-read, different perspectives to life, wine connoisseur, high network guy etc. Sometimes absent-minded, but then who isn't?

He leaves the hotel and after a hard-day's work reaches the airport.
Goes to the internet cafe to do some last minute e-mailing.

Now it beats me (haven't asked him the reason yet), why somebody who has just put in the hard eight hours at office 'and' wields a blackberry, would go to the internet cafe after all that. Let us attribute it to the vagaries of life.

And then - horror of horrors - forgets The autograph work-book in the internet cafe... @#$#%$^

Catches the flight and only after landing in SG realizes the missing autograph.

Oh my! I have given my word to UN and have promptly screwed it up...

(Bertie: Jeeves, what is the word that starts with 're..' and means that one feels very bad after letting somebody down?
Jeeves: Remorse, Sir?
Bertie: Right ho, Jeeves)

You would not be wrong if you thought that the lines above went through G's mind. Indeed, they did. But he is a man of action and calls up his team member in India and directs him to the airport Internet cafe to retrieve the work-book.

Steve Jobs (Apple-fame) said that life is all about connecting the dots and what you do will never go waste and will come back to repay you (good or bad) later. In Tamil they say... முற்பகல் செயின் பிற்பகல் தானே விளையும்...

Moving along those lines, I think Kamal did that song (வார்த்தை தவறி விட்டாய்... in இளமை ஊஞ்சலாடுகிறது) especially for such incidents. Thankfully, G managed to retrieve the autograph and life is back to normal again.

(some embellishments in the above post; but incidents are still true)

Fungus on the Face!

They say at 40, one tends to try different looks just for the heck of it.

Yeah, no young girl is going to look at you (You are already 'uncle', what?)

And the oldies don't care either. The wife does not care (too busy with her own looks, perhaps?) and the children are OK as long as you don't accompany them anywhere :-)

So, one tries different things...

Moustache today; None tomorrow.

After ten days - very short hair - almost GI cut...

Ten weeks later, try colouring the hair (usually it is after 5 weeks; but nowadays hair grows slowly! Could GM Food be the reason?)

Two weeks later, try left side parting...

You get the drift I suppose.

In this eternal search for change, one decided to grow some fungus on the face.

I don't know what is it with a beard - goatie/french, whatever you call it; people invariably show different emotions starting from the

left extreme: indifference to

right extreme: horror

traversing through 'wow', 'nice', 'why this sudden lunacy' etc.

So after a few days of careful saving of water, razor-time and shaving foam, one managed to grow a 'french'.

If you think that I am writing a treatise on growing a beard then please be rest assured that it is not the case.

This post is about

(a) 'Disadvantages of Having a Big Beard'

(b) How one 'Ulaga Nayagan (UN)' had a tough time because of his beard &

(c) Why Kamal is at his best - Reel or Real - when he does humour.

(Ulaga Nayagan = World's Hero or World Hero or (Other) Worldly Hero - depending on who you ask to translate)

Now, you all know that Kamal has decided to cultivate that great beard of his for 'Marma Yogi' and that the movie is to be produced by Walt Disney (The little wag says that Disney must have seen a great potential in Kamal to be an animated character after seeing Baby @ Khalifulla in D'ram!)

Last week in one of the Indian cities, G met Kamal in a 5* hotel break-fast hall. In G's words, it is his first brush with a celebrity. Quite an interesting brush, I should say! Read on.

Kamal, in his camoflage khakis, sneakers and that beard was drinking porridge (அட! நம்ப கஞ்சிப்பா!).

Very healthy, one opines.

UN then calls for a glass of butter-milk (watered down yoghurt for ye, psueds)

Mixes it with the porridge.

No problems so far.

UN then calls for pepper.

A pepper-grinder comes back. (You know those small bottle like things which have un-ground pepper in them and you twist the bottom to get freshly ground pepper powder. The trick is in twisting the bottom by holding the bottle straight and the pepper comes from the bottom opening)

UN tries to shake the bottle upside down. No pepper powder.

UN calls the waiter. (Remember Sathi Leelavathi's 'Waiter, where is the menu card?')

Waiter helps out in a jiffy, albeit with a suppressed smile.

UN mixes the freshly-ground pepper and pushes a spoonful of peppered-butter-milk-porridge (PBMP) into the bushy mouth.

Alamak! Half the gruel on the beard :(

Problem, problem, problem.

But then UN is not UN if he can't resolve this.

Calls the waiter and asks for something.

Waiter nods, smiles and returns in a second with a .... straw!

UN then uses the straw to drink the PBMP.

Break-fast over; Beard is safe!

இதைத்தான் ராயபுரத்திலே 'கூழுக்கும் ஆசை, மீசைக்கும் ஆசைன்னா, Straw போட்டுக் குடி'ன்னு சொல்லுவாங்களாம்! ( நன்றி: K) - Sorry can't translate this - no attempt will do justice to this gem!

Kamal is at his best, when he does humour - Reel or Real.
மேட்டர் ஓவர்! (Defence Rests!)

P.S. G later button-holes the great man and gets his autograph. Thanks for the scoop, mate!

Back to the Passion!

(c)www.vasantham.com



Been involved with the production of the Vasantham Challenge 2008 quiz show for primary children recently.


Very enriching experience to be working with those wonderful people from Pixel.


The mid-night oil burnt all these years on the various community club quizzes (and of course 'the' WC2007 exercise) is helping a lot. But doing something for the national TV audience is a different ball game altogether. Reminds one of the dialogue by Raghuvaran (may his soul rest in peace) in Mudhalvan about the trials and tribulations of being a Chief Minister...


And the children.... oh! they are great. So sharp and so smart! Keeps you on your toes, all the time.


Good fun inspite of the pressure!
Watch out for the episodes on Fridays at 8 pm on Vasantham!
My 15 milliseconds of fame :-)
But missing the hot sun and cricket umpiring !
Mosur is already threatening to take my name off the roster :-(

வேலையற்ற வீணர்களின்...

Got this via some spam.

எவ்வளவு பேர்டா இதமாதிரி கிளம்பியிருக்கீங்க?

அடுத்த படம் கமல் 100 வேஷம்னு கேள்விப் பட்டேன். உடனே மக்கள் அந்த நூறையும் மகாபாரதத்தோட கெளரவர்களோட link பண்ணிடுவாங்க... அடங்கமாட்டாங்கப்பா!

(Heard that Kamal is going to do 100 roles in his next movie. Guys will compare him to the 100 Kauravas from Mahabharata! Tough life!)


Perfect 10!!! Dasavataram

One thing we had noticed is why people didn't get the real subtext and reason for the various roles and hence the title. If you knew the real dasavatharams of Lord Vishnu and their characters you can appreciate the script more. Let me explain, starting with the best adapted role:

1. Krishna avatar - Vincent Poovaraghavan

Lord krishna is actually a dalit, he is dark-skinned [shyamalam]. He saved draupadi when she was being violated and he was the actual diplomat in mahabharatham. Lord krishna dies of an arrow striking his lower leg. Now look at how vincent was introduced.. he appears when asin is about to be molested and he saves her like draupadi. Vincent is the dalit diplomat, fights for land issue [soil issue to be exact] and dies from the metal rod striking his leg. Oh even five of vincent's men are drugged at P. Vasu's.. sounds familiar???

2. Balarama avatar - Balarama naidu

This is an easy one. As the name suggests and the role personifies you can easily get it.

3. Mathsya avatar - Ranagaraja nimbi

Nambi is thrown into water in an act of trying to save Lord from being thrown into sea, though vainly. what more clue?

4. Varaha avatar - Krishnaveni paatti

During the mukunda song, krishnaveni paatti does varaha avatar in the shadow puppetry. The frame freezes on it for a second. there is the clue. Moreover, in varaha avatar lord actually hides earth so as to protect life forms. Here too krishnaveni hides the germs - life form inside the statue so as to protect.

5. Vamana avatar - Kalifulla khan

Remember in vamana avatar, lord vishnu takes the vishvaroopa, that is the giant form! Hence the giant kalifulla here symbolises vamana avatar.

6. Parasurama avatar - Christian Fletcher

Parasurama is actually on an angry killing spree and killed 21 generations of the particular kshatriya vamsa. Hence the real KILLER... Guess what, thats what our Fletcher is! He comes around with the gun [modern upgrade for axe] and kills everyone around. I have to check if he kills 21 people though. :-D

7. Narasimha avatar - Shingen Narahashi

First of all the name itself is a play on the words singam [means lion in tamil] and narasimha [the avatar being symbolised]. Lord Narasimha manifests himelf to kill the bad guy and he also teaches prahaladha. In the movie, he shows up to kill the killer fletcher! and is also a teacher.. Lord Narasimha had to kill the asura with bare hands and hence the martial arts exponent here.. get it?

8. Rama avatar - Avatar Singh

Lord Rama stands for the one man one woman maxim, kind of symbolising true love.. Here Avatar portrays that spirit by saying that he loves his woman more than anything and wants to live for her.

9. Kalki avatar - Govindaraj Ramasamy

As you know, the hero in kaliyug can be none other than the Kalki avatar!!!

10. Koorma avatar – Bush

This is the most loose (பார்த்த நாங்களும் லூசுதாம்பா!) adaptation I couldn't clearly comprehend. But if you look at the real koorma avatar, the lord is the turtle/tortoise that helps in stirring the ksheera sagara and bringing out the amruth. This essentially creates war among the devas and asuras. Similarly today Bush facilitates war between you know whom... May be Kamal also indicates that this avatar is a bit dumb like the tortoise...

Kuselan Songs: எப்படா திருந்துவீங்க?

Hearing the songs on the net just now.

Immediate reaction is given in the title. (Loosely translated: When will you ever change?)

Three out of five songs, extol the virtues of Super Star and that tells you the story. Nothing sells like Super Star and hence the reports about Pasupathy getting peeved on being sidelined in the audio release exercise is justified from both sides :-)

(a) Who would want to devote real estate on CD covers for a person who has probably only one song in the movie?
(b) But then atleast two sqcm of area could have been given for a role which is supposed to be the backbone of the movie!

Well, the mythological story of Kuselan was told to exhibit the benevolence of Lord Krishna, right? So, beggars cannot be choosers - no pun intended here!

As far as the lyrics of Super * songs, the poets (?) have come up with new sobriquets and newer ways to whip up the S* frenzy - why is one word springing to my mind, throughout the listening experience - Sycophancy ?

Without the sword of Rajini hanging over their heads, they have tried to redeem themselves in sollamma & chaaral.

எல்லாம் இந்த ஒரு சாண் வயிறுக்குத்தானே ஐயா?
(After all, it is all for money, right?)

GV Prakash has rehashed ARR's tunes and pieces all over the place and you get the feeling that you have heard the song somewhere before. One of the famous axioms of Broadway musicals is, "People should always feel that they have heard the song before!" - GVP has achieved that pretty much.

So, in short, music is nothing to write home about.

Yet,
- people will - yours truly included - buy the CD/cassette/movie tickets/VCD/DVD at the drop of a hat.
- intellectuals will crib that the movie was not as good as the original (all ye mallu friends! you can have a field day ridiculing this paandi movie as well!)

We shall wait for the next offering of mindless trash from either Rajini or Kamal or Vijay or Ajit or Vishal or Dhanush or ...

What to do? We are like that only!

Dasavatharam: Papa Don't Preach!

Finally, watched the latest offering from Kamal - probably the 17000th show of the movie post release! And to think that the movie is hardly three days old; shows the excessive dependence of openings by all and sundry in the industry. The wag inside says "அப்பதானே ஒண்ணும் தெரியாத அப்பாவி மக்கள அமுக்கிப் போட முடியும்!"... (only then, you can catch the innocent people unawares!)

Coming to D'ram... as the late great Sujatha used to say, can write the storyline at the back of a postage stamp.

Dangerous virus nullified by Tsunami and not God.

If the story had stayed with the first five words then it would have won the hearts of people. But the addition of last three words has caused the potential loss of a blockbuster status for the movie.

[But please don't confuse this with the 5 vs 8 discussion that takes place in the movie; the numbers mentioned above are purely coincidental!]

As usual, Kamal Rocks - not once, but ten times...as

- Rangarajan Nambi - fights for the Vaishnavism;
- Govindarajan (son of Ramasamy Naicker - an artist; not Periyar, not Kalaignar we are clearly told) tries to keep monkeys away from virii which are more potent than Ebola times thousand;
- George Bush - decides that the virus is better off being sent to India than returning back to USA;
- Chris Fletcher - shows us why ex-CIA agents are better than anybody else except...
- Nikkumo Nikkado (I made that name up:)) - perhaps the odd Japanese Karate Master who is out to avenge his sister's death;
- Avtaar Singh - loves his wife so much to give up singing, only to be cured by a bullet;
- Baby @ Khalifulla - overlords everybody as a graphics-induced-lighthouse
- Balram Naidu - tickles you pink as the aravam-spewing, telugu-loving bumbling cop
- Poovarahan Vincent - talks green-Dalitism in that fabulous Thirunelveli-Kerala tamil
- Krishnaveni - a senile 95-year old woman - drags Perumaal (yes, the Lord Himself) into the story!

If these lady and gentlemen are not enough, there is Asin to represent the I-shall-stick-to-the-Lord-like-Fevicol generation, PVasu-SanthanaBharati-Sundararajan sand-baggers, the delightful Jayaprada as Ranjeet Singh (Kaur?), Nagesh-KRVijaya Koran-and-People loving parents...oh! I forgot, the professional translator-cum-killer Mallika Sheravat (I think Gowthami Todimalla ran out of budget while designing her costumes and therefore...) the list goes on. But nobody gets etched in your memory as Kamal easily overshadows anybody and everybody in sight.

This is a movie that tries to show its intelligence in each and every frame, not to mention the intellectual inclination of Kamal!

Examples abound including...
- Ebola virus
- NaCl (until a very passing mention in the end, non-chemistry students will not be wiser that NaCl is actually common salt and that sea water has that in abundance; duh!)
- Puns between Nambi and Cholan (Napoleon)
- Blatant and not-so-blatant religious situations - way too many, starting from Kamal getting knocked on his forehead similar to Sri-Choornam only to be plastered immediately resembling a cross, the 'Amman Thunai' boat thrown on top of CSI along with the Perumal idol, how the Tsunami spares the people inside a mosque... it became tiresome after sometime.
- Too many 'விதண்டாவாதம்' dialogues - even the movie ends with one... 'கடவுள் இல்லைன்னு சொல்லலை! கடவுள் இருந்திருந்தா நல்லா இருக்கும்னு தான் சொல்றேன்!' (I am not saying that there is no God! It would have been great if He had been there!) but this has the potential to become as powerful as 'நீங்க நல்லவரா? கெட்டவரா? தெரியலேயேப்பா!' (Are you a good man or a bad man? But I don't know my dear!)

It is precisely this intelligence that has moved the movie to be more preachy than out-and-out entertaining.

Nambi preaches Vaishnavism, Govindarajan spews anything that could be atheistic to agnostic, Chris Fletcher vows by Capitalism, George Bush: escapism, Krishnaveni: sentiment; Poovarahan: Environment - you get the drift, I suppose.

What Kamal has tried to do is to give an 'Anbe Sivam' in a commercial container - being more explicit; being grander but ending being more confused.

Technically, the movie is a marvel, except a few frames, where the graphics were very clearly just that...graphics.

In the incessant chase between New York to Chennai to Chengalput to Chidambaram to Dindivanam to somewhere on the east coast to Nehru Stadium, one easily forgot that there are ten Kamals in the movie. As a result, the effort put in by Kamal and his crew to manage some very nifty multi-shots might get poo-pooed by people. But believe me, those are out there and they are fantastic. In a way, the hectic - albeit contrived - movement of the story can be attributed to the same.

Overall, full paisa-vasool because of the efforts that Kamal has put in - a good tail-piece in the end shows how much of prosthetic material has been used to get all the avataars...

But due to the inherent preachiness and confusion on the message to be conveyed, one should therefore pray for this movie to be a blockbuster (as against a normal hit), so that Kamal can continue his experiments in cinema.

To pray, i.e. தசாவதாரம் புஸ்ஸாவதாரம் ஆகாமல் இருக்க ... you can pick your choice - given purely based on alphabetical order)

(1) Allah
(2) Buddha
(3) Guru Govind
(4) Dollars
(5) Jehova (some reference to Jews, while the story was in Washington DC)
(6) Jesus
(7) Vishnu
(8) All of the above
(9) Some of the above
(10) None of the above

Confused? So am I.

P.S: Guys had panned the music; it is actually good; three of the songs were pretty hummable considering that I heard them for the first time in the theatre.

Lightest moment of the movie: The huge applause that greeted the shot that showed Chennai Airport after the story moved to India from US of A!!!! So much for America craze!

Remote Killing

After what seemed to be like a million noisy days and nights in the so-called condominium, we finally shifted home – or should I say shifted boxes – to the friendly neighborhood: HDB heartland.

Well, this post is not about house shifting or any such mundane activities. Yeah, right! Mundane, my foot! What with about 100 boxes and three round-trips of the truck and a tipsy bribe to the movers (he, he! The wine bottles were just lying there and decided to be generous :-), the move was anything but mundane. Exciting to say the least.

The marathon exercise started at around an un-Godly hour of 9 in the morning and ended at around seven in the evening.

Like a true warrior, yours truly, went about fixing the cable TV (cannot live without IPL!) and the cable modem (How can I do my Macbeth assignment without computer and internet?). And success it was, on the first attempt.

TV connected to power mains?
Check.
Cable Set-top box connected to power mains?
Check.
Cables snaked to different slots?
Check.
Power on?
Check.
Correct channel on?
Eeee… it is Sun TV. Where is IPL?
Where is the remote?

‘Patta! Where is the remote?’

Dear lady was fixing the gas stove and other such stupid things just to ensure that the next day’s food would be available! What impertinence? Is the gas stove more important than the TV remote?

Acid levels in the tummy increase manifold. Decibel levels multiply (it is logarithmic, you see!). Whining starts. Frantic search ensues. Boxes being torn open.

‘Did you pack it in one of the living room boxes?’
‘I remember putting it in the box along with the CDs and cassettes.’
‘Appa, I want to watch Kathu Karuppu!’
‘If you don’t mind, can we watch the news?’
‘I am hungry and angry’

Mood swing was uni-directional almost akin to the US dollar rate against all-comers.

It took at least 25 boxes to be opened before…
.
.
.
we gave up and reconciled to the drudgery that was (is?) being served by Maaran brothers in the name of entertainment. But then WYSIWYG – a slight change to the classic computer acronym – What You Sow Is What You Get ;-)

In the mean time, telephone calls were being made to the cable TV company to get a new remote delivered (‘Dad! It is only 20 dollars if we go and get it tomorrow morning first thing, else it is 30 dollars for delivery you know. I think we have a good deal to go and collect it!’)

After having spent so much on the new house, 20 (or thirty for that matter) seemed to be a pittance, but then all ye middle-class Madhavans, fret not! I did not succumb to the pressures of Gen-Z and stood my ground.

We shall overcome the tyranny of the remote by searching for it in the remaining 75 boxes. If we don’t find it in the next one week, then we shall search the next week and so on.

The mind definitely willed. But the flesh is weakening by the hour…So...
.
.
.

Do you happen to have a spare cable TV remote? I will return it as soon as I trace it in one of the remaining cartons...No, no! I am not shaking. It is just the damn air-conditioner temparature setting, I think... What? The air-conditioner is not on?
Let it be... Do you happen to have a spare cable TV remote?